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Hello and welcome back to another day at the office, and another day in the breakroom. I do want to apologize for my absence; between some illness floating around my household and being forced to expel Microsoft Edge off my computer, it has been a crazy few weeks. Thankfully, I’m just in time today because Michael has been pretty busy since the moment the day started. He has gotten onto one of his email forwarding kicks so if you don’t see anything in your inbox, you might want to check your spam folder like Jim had to. Spoiler alert, the email includes a copy of “30 Signs Your Priest Might be Michael Jackson.” Michael considers himself the “king of forwards” because this is how he likes to do business, keeping everyone laughing and in a good mood.

This brings up a very important topic about email etiquette in the workplace. For those of you who have not worked in an office setting, email procedure goes beyond simply including your signature or having a solid title. Companies traditionally have a set of formal guidelines in place which can dictate font, color, and signature details. Traditionally, emailing within the company to your colleagues should be done professionally without including lots of emojis or inappropriate language ¹. When it comes to forwarding emails in the workplace, these practices should still hold true in that the nature of the email should relate to professional material. I found some insight from ScoreCEO which has a post dedicated to email forwarding in the workplace. Among these rules: do not forward a post which states it must be forward (chain emails), if someone requested to not received forwards please respect their wishes, and you should at least include some sort of comment along with the forward². I believe it is safe to say that Michael has not seen these sources as he breaks several of these rules on a frequent basis. He likes the “chain emails” that must be sent to so many individuals or you will have bad luck, his forwards do not pertain to work, and he sends them out as he likes without caring if the recipient wants to be included. When working in an office/corporate environment, please be sure to adhere to email etiquette as you truly can face consequences.

So if what prompts Michael to continuously keep up with his antics? The fact that he does have those you encourage his jokes; all it takes is one to validate his sense of humor. The ever-loyal Dwight is there offering up video idea including an incredibly inappropriate, and disturbing, monkey sex video. But most of all we have Todd Packer, which I believe this might be your first time meeting him, right? Currently a traveling salesman usually out on the road, he has known Michael since they started so he is probably his best friend. While Michael’s jokes are to keep people in a good mood and like him, Todd is just simply crude and sort of says whatever he wants because he thinks he is amazing. I think his salutation to Jim sort of sums him, “Hey Halpert, still queer?” Though today, he has some grade-A gossip about what is happening over at the corporate office in that our CFO (Chief Financial Officer) Randall has resigned out of the blue. Seems he has been having an affair with his secretary and she recently went public with the situation which resulted in Randall needing to step down.

It should go without saying that relationships between managers and their subordinates are quite often scrutinized, and for good reason. When they are kept secret, you have to wonder if one, or both, are married and are often see as someone in a position of power coercing someone into sexual situations. The #metoo movement helped shine a long overdue light on this difference in power is consistently exerted in the workplace to put people into difficult situations where they truly fear for their jobs if they do not give in to these unwanted advances. Sexual harassment in the workplace can come in many forms and have been known to be vastly ignored over the years because a great deal of it comes down to a “he-said, she-said” scenario and might not be taken seriously. But if you feel you are receiving inappropriate advances, you should absolutely feel empowered to put a stop to it, including going to Human Resources if needed. While I do not know all of the details between Randall and his secretary, the biggest red flag was that it was kept secret. If they are two single people, they should have reported this to HR to stay above board. Due to their professional relationship, what could have been done was the secretary could have been reassigned to ensure to remove the ability where Randall could have given his secretary unfair privilege, or else chosen to simply fire her. Each company has their own procedure but when you try to hide a relationship like that, you should know there is a problem with it and the situation should be evaluated. More importantly, Packer’s comments about the secretary are precisely the reason why most people do not come forward with claims about harassment or feeling pressured to accept unwarranted advances. Victims are often blamed as being an equal participant in these acts, when it truly is not always as simple as that when one of them holds such power and authority over them.

On a lighter note, evidently Pam’s mom is coming into the office today and Jim is pretty intrigued at this opportunity. He is excited for the opportunity to meet her and get the inside dirt on Pam’s childhood. Personally I do not know why her mom is so eager to stop by and “see where she works” when it really is just a simple office, but who am I to question? Off in the bullpen, we just Toby take Michael aside into his office to talk about something. That’s Toby Flenderson from Human Resources, you pry do not see him often since he is typically back in the annex. But mostly because Michael really doesn’t like him, he has this weird thing against HR workers, or maybe it is just Toby. But because of the incident at corporate, Toby needs to go over the sexual harassment policy with everyone and should require five minutes. This is what really sets Michael over the edge, he truly believes that such rules will impede his ability to conduct work, or be able to be funny. I do not know if you have ever had a leader go out to buy a blow up doll to be used as an example but now you can say that you have. While it may have not been specifically for Pam to practice being a lesbian on, but it certainly came to his mind pretty quick. And this was enough to warrant Michael, and I guess the warehouse staff, to need to sit down to watch the sexual harassment video, ‘Crossing the Line: Rules for the Modern Workplace.’

Now for those of you who have worked in large companies, videos like this or quick presentations like Toby performed are most likely nothing new. While I have had my share of these, most often you will see self-guided online presentations that offer multiple choice questions and a signature at the end to signal you have gone through it. But some experts are saying that these methods may be the reason behind an increase in sexual harassment incidents. An article through Business Insurance by Louise Esola talks about how companies are not truly taking sexual harassment training seriously because of how these trainings are very generic, not to mention designed to simply pass and not think about for another year³. Much like how Michael and the warehouse are not paying attention to the content, sexual harassment is seen as either a joke or simply something that “could never happen here.” Harassment comes in many forms and should be considered a true problem, so companies should be taking this training more seriously. Rather than a faceless entity on a screen, perhaps it should be on division leaders to be responsible for conducting the training and going through the policy. It is also important to cover a variety of offenses which can include playing inappropriate music, making comments about sexual orientations or gender identity, or even simply calling someone a MILF. Most importantly, there should be consequences for when employees harass someone. These things cannot be simply swept under the rug but it should be documented and some form punishment be issued; while not every instance may be so severe that an outright termination be handed out, it cannot simply be ignored. To leaders out there, if you do not believe your company has an appropriate sexual harassment policy and training in place then bring it up with your leaders and human resources. While you may not know of a given instance, statistically you do have a colleague who would benefit from knowing their employer takes these cases seriously.

While Dunder Mifflin might have a very generic approach to their training, I do believe that Jan does take it serious given that she traveled to the office along with a company lawyer to deal with the Scranton branch. This certainly caught Michael off-guard, so much so he even got his own lawyer to help protect himself; evidently he wasn’t aware that the company lawyer was there to protect him. This was when it finally dawned on Michael that these policies are not about “stifling his voice” but to help protect him. I truly do not think of Michael as someone with malicious intent, simply someone with a questionable sense of humor and is honestly trying to keep morale up through humor. This is certainly not to protect him or warrant his language or actions, but to help show that there is a large spectrum of harassment. While he doesn’t meant to be offensive or harm anyone, but his humor is not meant for everyone and is certainly not considered work appropriate. And if one thing came from today, I think Michael did start to reflect on his jokes and especially Packer’s and how they make his employees feel. While he may not have told Packer off, I am thankful he stuck up for Phyllis. He just gets so caught up with Packer that he lets him get all worked up thinking they are hilarious, when really Packer is a great example of who to not be in the workplace.

So what have we learned about sexual harassment today? We heard many key phrases including “intent is irrelevant” and especially “where is the line?” I think the most important thing to remember is to simply treat everyone as a decent person. More importantly, at the end of the day your job is not your home. Your language and actions should be monitored because a workplace demands a certain level of professionalism. So at the end of the day, if you cannot say anything any decent and kind perhaps just do not say anything at all. With that, I hope you learned something today as well, and as always I will make sure to see you around the breakroom.

1. Griffin, E. (2020, September 19). The 9 Rules of Work Email Etiquette Smart People Follow. The Muse. Retrieved September 4, 2023, from https://www.themuse.com/advice/rules-of-work-email-etiquette ↩︎
2. Almodovar, A. (2019, January 17). Email Etiquette 101: Email Forwarding. ScoreCEO. Retrieved September 4, 2023, from https://www.scoreceo.com/email-etiquette-101-email-forwarding/ ↩︎
3. Esola, L. (2023, July 12). Experts say employers lag in sexual harassment prevention training. Business Insurance. Retrieved September 26, 2023, from https://www.businessinsurance.com/article/20230712/NEWS08/912358417/Experts-say-employers-lag-in-sexual-harassment-prevention-training ↩︎

Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining us for another day here in the breakroom! The happenings here in the office continue to get better and I think today is going to be extra exciting, almost like a new season, if you will. This evening marks the annual Dundies! What are the Dundies, you ask? Well, according to Michael it is everyone’s favorite day; if you don’t believe him, just check out the electricity in the air.

The Dundies are actually a brainchild of Michaels in that everyone in the office is awarded a special award to celebrate their time here. Besides being really funny, it gives a chance for those who would normally not get an award for anything else (like Kevin or Meredith) to be celebrated with something special. I know all too often I go home and talk to my neighbors and hear about how they get no recognition, nor have they ever received an award. Come to think of it, I have noticed an odd smell coming from their house… Anyways I believe that the Dundies offer a chance to feel special.

So the question is do other companies do big award ceremonies for their staff? These sorts of events really do occur with each company putting their own spin on them. The most common scenario I know of is annual event which often includes dancing and/or entertainment, usually a sit-down meal which is served although a buffet is not uncommon, and then awards are handed. My personal experience involves company-wide events so the attendance would be much larger than one office branch, so they do not do individual awards catered to each person. Usually there would be awards for years of service to celebrate how long you have been there, with the type of award increasing with the year. Usually, the first year is a simple certificate and then they can become plaques and even pins that can be worn; and then there is often some sort of gift card alongside this. In addition, there are awards which equate to “employee of the year” to call out a few specific employees for going above and beyond in the capacity of their role. So, let us say you want to do an annual event like this for your company, what are your options? Setting aside your budget, you certainly want to plan something that is catered to your staff and this will often rely on how many people this will presented to. The scenario for a larger company I mentioned earlier certainly can be seen as very generic at times, but when you are trying to do something for a large staff then it makes much more sense to do something like that. If you do offer a ceremony with food, I will say that you will often see more employees present if this is scheduled during a workday. This means they get an extra-long break, lunch for that day is provided, and they do not need to take time out in the evening when they would normally have their own plans. But when you’re looking at a smaller group like the Scranton office at Dunder Mifflin, they are more likely to have more fun doing something more personal. This can be renting out a room at a restaurant, or even a general venue and food can be ordered in without needing to create an over-the-top spectacle. At the end of the day, it is important to remember that the event is catered towards your staff so please be mindful of what would be most accommodating to them. Does every person want to spend their Friday night out at a Chili’s with their coworkers accepting silly awards? No, but the alcohol and being able to invite significant others certainly helps make it more bearable.

So how does everyone in the office feel about the Dundies? According to Pam it is comparable to staring at a car wreck because your boss is making you. Oscar compares it to a child’s birthday party, where you are having a terrible time but the kid is having the time of their life so you put up with it. Certainly not a great start, although this doesn’t sound too bad if people actually get awards. Jim supposedly has his hidden, while Dwight actually has them in a case above his bed (TMI Dwight, thanks for the visual). Stanley must have thrown his away, unfortunately. But he does remember that they ran out of appetizers; perfect example of another tip for hosting your awards, it is okay to invest more money in the refreshments than the awards themselves. Everyone loves a free meal so that truly needs to be a requirement. Now if you are a true performer of a manager, you also have the option of recording the entire event as a keepsake like the Oscars or Grammys. Or, if you are Michael, it means you can entrust Pam to watch through all of the footage for highlights. Still trying to ascertain why Pam isn’t a huge fan of the Dundies, but I think I’ll get there.

Stepping away from the Dundies, let’s talk about what is happening in the girl’s bathroom. Evidently someone has written something inappropriate about Michael on one of the walls; I tried to find out what it was but to no avail. I think we have all seen some of what is scribbled on bathroom walls, so it is safe to say is most likely not the nicest, or cleanest. I have never written anything on a bathroom wall and I truly cannot understand what must be going through someone’s mind when they do so. I’m sure someone was simply trying to vent about Michael, but all you did was create a very difficult mess for the cleaning staff to attempt to clean. Writing on the bathroom wall is nothing new, there is a long history which probably goes back as far as we’ve had formal bathrooms. There have even been scientific studies conducted to evaluate what is written, the frequency, and even comparing the scrawling between genders. Now I will not go in-depth here, but I recommend looking up the article Behind the Writing on the Stalls by Julie Beck published with The Atlantic. Offers some pretty interesting information on both the act but also all of the research people have invested into it¹. What I do want to comment on is the reaction to this scribble in which Michael gets so interested in finding out what it is and Dwight goes out of his way to catch a glimpse of it. While I am not a face of defacement like this, I personally believe that if it is a one-time instance, it should just be let go and chopped up to someone was simply upset. When someone is routinely making notes and images and it is just unfair to the cleaning staff who have to deal with it, that’s when you should actually start to care about it. But that is my two cents.

Speaking of money, the rumor is that Jan at corporate is not approving any spending for the Dundies tonight. I guess that means someone else will be paying for the food and drinks. It is a shame this happened, but we did have a pretty wild ride; can’t believe you were not here for the “05/05/05” party, our luau, or the hurricane fun-raiser. Companies are always trying to find ways of boosting morale, I suppose since they are so opposed to bonuses or wages, maybe they should start throwing parties each month with free food.

But tonight is not about all of those other parties but is all about the Dundies! Chili’s is in full swing with Michael performing some classic song and dance while drinks are making their way around. Unfortunately, we just found out that we are formally responsible for our own checks tonight. Should’ve known there was a reason why suddenly we could bring our significant others with us. Strange Michael forgot to tell us this until we were already at the restaurant, and we’d gotten our orders in, almost like he knew we’d feel obligated to stay. Somehow, that isn’t even the cringiest part of the night! Did you see Pam and Roy arguing outside? He and Darryl decided that if they had to pay, they’d rather than just bail on the awards and go out to Poor Richards. Seems Pam didn’t take too kindly on being told what to do, I’m thinking trouble in paradise. If that’s too tame for you, then check out Michael’s “Ping” impression; I’m pretty sure I do not have to come up with an article explaining why you shouldn’t do this impression yourself for your staff. While we may have been having a rough time, at least we were not heckling Michael like those punk kids in the booth next to us. I feel the need to call out people like this, how do you feel that it is okay to be so cruel to random strangers like that. As a piece of formal advice, keep your comments to yourself because you’re really not funny; and Elton John rocks, so don’t hate.

The most unique piece of the Dundies is the fact that they do not resort to generic awards but instead are each custom crafted. But it is important to note that just because you can make a joke out of an award, does not mean that you should make that joke. Looking at all of the Dundies we had this year, we had:

Phyllis – Busiest “Bushiest” Beaver
Ryan – Hottest in the Office
Angela – Tight-Ass
Kelly – Spicy Curry
Kevin – Don’t Go in there After Me
Stanely – Fine Work
Pam – Whitest Sneakers

There is a fine assortment of awards here but not all of them would be considered appropriate in most work settings so absolutely edit yourself when making these sorts of decisions. Which of these of would be appropriate? The Busiest Beaver and Fine Work are pretty safe and generic awards for good work, although you will want to ensure that everything is spelled accurately. These could even be too generic, and I believe the Whitest Sneakers award is the best one. It isn’t offensive, it’s very particular to Pam who takes such care to keep her shoes pristine, and yet it is still sort of funny. The remaining awards are examples of ones which can be rude, inappropriate, or even racist. So please, more Sneakers and less Curry.

And that was this year’s Dundies, thankfully Pam did not collapse from being drunk until the very end so it didn’t put a damper on the party. Although, she actually got banned from Chili’s so that’s a pretty severe punishment. Final piece of advice for events like these: do not get drunk or let your staff get drunk. I can assure you that no one will ever forget about it and that will be all you’re known for. I sure hope you had a great time and you’re happy with your own Dundie award, the “I Survived My First Dundies” award. You absolutely have earned it with everything you’ve gone through tonight. Drive home safely and I’ll be seeing you next week in the breakroom.

Good morning and welcome back to another day in the office, and another day of chat right here in the breakroom. Without wasting any time, we should get right into today’s happenings.

The morning started off with Michael on an important phone call with his boss, Jan. It seems that corporate has agreed to offering a $1,000.00 prize to the top salesman as an incentive program (the prize in question can be chosen by Michael). While this is exciting news for the office, Michael must first figure out “what motivates people more than anything else?” Dwight, ever faithful, immediately goes to sex and torture but I don’t believe this is what corporate had in mind.

So, what exactly is an incentive in business? An incentive is a reward given to employees which is meant to motivate them to meet specific business goals. In this situation, there will be a price worth $1,000 to the salesman with the top sales at the end of the period. The promise of a prize will encourage all of the sales staff to try to outsell everyone else. Now that has historically been the purpose behind incentives, but there have been additional benefits found. According to Indeed incentive programs can also help build employee loyalty, improve retention, and even enforce a better work culture for the company¹. It is worth noting that most studies done are on established incentive programs while Dunder Mifflin seems to be doing just a one-off event which means you will not see the same results. There will most likely be some sort of uptick in sales across the board since this is still an incentive event, but they can be expected to go back down once the prize is awarded. Doing just one instance can assist with padding the numbers for the quarter, most likely for the shareholders or board, but it will not have as much of a long-term impact without continuously having events in place. If you are developing an incentive program, it should always be in effect rather than just trying to encourage them to work harder when you are trying to look good at the end of the quarter. Whether it offers rewards every paycheck, once a month, or even at the of the quarter; the consistency is what matters in making it successful.

In regard to the incentive itself, if sex and torture are unacceptable, what are some of the most common incentive rewards? According to Entrepeneur, incentive rewards can be categorized as either monetary or non-monetary. Monetary is often the most common reward used which can include bonuses (both cash or prize) as well as promises of available promotions, often times we might see this in the forms of Senior positions. Some companies can offer Profit Sharing in which the employees is rewarded with a percentage of the profits earned in the year; this one is not seen as often and most often offered those in executive positions. Finally, there are incentives based upon commission in which the sales team is rewarded from reaching a specific goal or even off of each sale. Then we also have non-monetary incentives, rewards which do not have a value assigned to them. The simplest form would be recognition by the company, we could see this as an employee-of-the-month, mentioned in a newsletter, or even recognized at a company event. There are the options of company retreats or education events; the concept being that the top employees are considered to be included for these instances which can be seen as beneficial to their career. At the simplest, such incentives can be in the form of extended breaks or leaves such as an extra vacation day or even being able to leave early². At the end of the day, incentives each can have their own audience so it is important to carefully evaluate the rewards, and which would be most well-received by your staff. From my own personal experience, you should probably start in the monetary category. Personally, Michael should have checked to see if he could have just given the staff $1,000 instead of a prize that he got to pick out because people underestimate the value of cash. That being said, technically cash incentives do fall into the realm of taxable income which is why it is not selected nearly enough as an incentive for one-time events in companies, when offering up a pizza party doesn’t have to be coded as such. Just a bit of insight into the realm of payroll that many employees might not realize.

This day is about to get a lot more interesting when a woman comes in wanting to sell handbags in the office to the staff. Pam brought this to Michael’s attention, and he reminds her that no vendors are allowed in the office. He is fine with Pam relaying this message, at least until he catches a glimpse of her. He is suddenly very eager to allow her to sell the bags, strange that he decided this when he realized he thought she was attractive. Not only does she get permission to stay, but Michael lets her have the entire conference room (meaning the HR meeting has to meet elsewhere) and he takes her around the office to meet people.

Legally, there is not necessarily a law against vendors being able to come into a business to sell to the employees. The rules are typically set by either the company itself in which they do not allow anyone not approved, or sometimes rental properties might have notices in place that solicitors are not allowed. Most commonly, the vendor is one who has a produce geared towards the business such as insurance, office supplies, or software. I personally found her gumption to come in and set up shop a bit annoying considering this is a work office and it would have been more professional to set up a future date to come in or perhaps arrange for a pop-up shop with approval by the building manager. But it is most likely because I have no interest in handbags so I may be a bit bias.

I think I am safe in saying that I am not bias in believe Kevin should not have asked Pam if she was “jealous there is a pretty girl here?” I think many of us have had at least one instance in our careers where we saw someone get a job or promotion which we wanted who coincidentally was more attractive than us. Does that make us paranoid and bitter? Turns out there is actually some rationale behind why people considered physically attractive seem to be more successful. Business Insider has published two separate articles discussing the benefits that attractive employees get. There is an actual “beauty premium” in business because attractive employees are more likely make more money. Being physically fit is often portrayed that the individual is a hard worker and would be seen as a better fit for promotions or leadership roles. Additionally, they often have a greater level of self-esteem and this confidence can contribute to negotiating their salaries as well as can be a benefit for those in sales³. Another article included a study through Rice University and the University of Houston which found that employees who had any sort of face blemish or “disfigurement” tended to do poorer in evaluations from job interviews⁴. While it is unfair, it is difficult to prevent all humans from acting on personal opinions or sex drives from making their decisions. If it were, we would not still have disparity in the wages and jobs offered to women and racial minorities when compared to white men. By no means am I saying that you should question any time a more attractive coworker gets a promotion over you as I would like to believe people are becoming more self-aware of their bias in certain scenarios. But for any leaders out there, please be sure to check yourself and truly ask yourself why you are so enamored with one employee over another.

Back to Michael, he did finally settle on the perfect prize to offer as a sales incentive: a $1,000 Starbucks espresso machine. As his logic goes, “it is literally a drug that speeds people up.” This is entirely true; many studies are out there which prove that caffeine can promote awareness, making you more alert. Of course, it often can lead to a crash or even disrupt your sleep if you are the type to drink excessively into the afternoon. I will now drop the subject of caffeine as I am starting to attack myself and my own habits. I do wonder exactly how productive Dunder Mifflin was in the 80s before they knew how bad cocaine was for you. As this is an illicit drug and wouldn’t fly with any companies, I’m going to leave the articles of “Why cocaine should be allowed in the office” back in the 80s where they belong.

Now, I do not know why Katie was so willing to accept a ride from Michael when her ride bailed. Maybe she doesn’t want to pay for a cab, but I would think that would be a small price to pay to avoid any more awkward small talk and comments. I will give it to Michael being so eager to make a good impression that he quickly gets to work at cleaning out his car, including the many Filet-O-Fish wrappers he left behind. He was also wise to get Ryan to help him with that “special project.” A friendly tip for all of those young people going into the business world: always mentally prepare yourself when someone asks you to help with a “special project.” Most of the time I can assure you that you will not find that project to be very special at all. Of course, turns out this extra work was for nought. Despite the best efforts of both Michael and Dwight, it seems she has her eyes on someone else. Jim swooped in with an offer to go out drink, and that ride, and she was all too eager to take him up on that offer. Is this another instance of where an attractive colleague lucked out? That might be up for interpretation so I will leave that for you to decide.

But wow, this was the day that the “hot girl” came to the office. So what did we really learn today? We should never underestimate the power of an incentive and how it can motivate workers. That sometimes it is okay to be a bit petty when we see unqualified, attractive people succeed over us. But more than anything, let this day encourage us to be more confident in ourselves. We have scientific proof that it is that greater self-esteem which can help people succeed. We may not all be Katies or Jims but let us at least find the same self-worth in ourselves that Michael can find every day. Just think before you speak, and you should be able to go the distance. Afterall, are we to believe that his incredible confidence didn’t help him become manager? Just a little nugget to mull over. Until next time, I’ll see you on your next coffee break in the breakroom.

Welcome back to another workday, and another breakdown here in the breakroom. I think we all know the reason you made sure to be here so promptly, the basketball game! That’s right, starting at noon we have a scrimmage between the upstairs staff with our colleagues down in the warehouse. Evidently this came up after the staff downstairs put up a hoop and Michael started impressing them with his athletic prowess. No idea he plays on the weekends, he really is a man of many talents. I guess Dwight was even allowed to come to one of his games, but he made an incredible fool of himself; strange for someone who is always so confident in his abilities.

While these events are not tied to a Dunder Mifflin-sanctioned team, it does bring up the topic of if company sports teams are a good idea? While I personally have never been on a company team, I have known a number of friends who partook on such teams with softball being a particularly popular choice. Being such a popular trend, there are many benefits that can be earned from having such teams. Beat Schybli shared to LinkedIn that there are three primary benefits: Health and Concentration, Team Spirit, and Interpersonal Relationship Development¹. There are some obvious benefits about promoting getting out of the house more often and being active, but the belief is that there can be benefits back in the office. Employees will get to know each other and therefore be able to work more effectively both on and off the field. And it certainly does a great job at boosting morale and company spirit, especially if the team is part of a league so there is the creation of some healthy competition with competitors. Before you go right ahead and set up a team, you might want to review some tips from Pamela Bapcock and SHRM to ensure you are promoting a liability-free environment. It’s important to ensure that there are designated rules in place considering it is a company outing such as should alcohol be prohibited, as well as what are the worker’s compensation laws for the state.² And it’s important to remember that such events are just not for everyone, so you do not want to create a culture in the office making fun of those who do not partake. Some people are very interested in sports at all or perhaps it is a question of which sport is being done; I personally wouldn’t be interested in basketball or softball, but I find volleyball can be fun, for instance. And then there is a question on matching the competitiveness of the players to the sport; someone very competitive might not have fun with a team that is meant to be laidback or just for fun, and vice versa. At the end of the day, they are pretty popular and can be a great topic to bring up if you feel your office could benefit from some athleticism.

The buzz around the office is certainly who is going to get to play on the office team for the big game, Dwight is very adamant about getting on the team. But Michael has a better idea; the delegator he is, he wants Dwight to be responsible for creating the weekend and holiday schedule. Much like how he saved face in not wanting to take the blame for the health insurance, he is again letting Dwight getting to tell his colleagues they have to work on their days off. “Complain and bitch” as Michael puts it and yet Dwight is all too prepared to wield this authority over everyone.

Meanwhile, Ryan just got his first tour of the warehouse downstairs and got to formally meet the staff down there including Lonny, Roy, and the manager Darryl. He also finally gets to see that Michael is even more outrageous with the staff in the warehouse. Coming off very “macho” with jokes about telling Pam she better be having regular sex with Roy. I did find a theory with Psychology Today in which Leon Seltzer discusses how narcissists often will overcompensate with a false bravado like this³. Apply the theory to Michael, he is so insecure with certain aspects in his life that he will try to portray his success in these areas to the rest of the world. My guess is that Michael doesn’t have many male friends he routinely socializes with, so he tries to come off very masculine with tropes he took from late night comedy films. The fact that he is a white-collar manager means he would feel even more separate from the staff downstairs, so he is just wants to prove that he can be “one of the guys.” Obviously, this is far from a professional opinion as I am not a psychologist; but it is important to think about why people do the things they do since it helps us understand them a bit.

Returning upstairs, it is finally time to put together the starting lineup for the game which is evidently now at 1:00pm instead of noon. We have Michael, Stanley (of course), Jim, Ryan, and Dwight. Please do not feel bad that you were not selected for this all-star draft as I feel Michael seems to have his own opinion on what makes some a good player. Oscar actually had volunteered and evidently, he is only suitable for baseball or boxing. This does bring pause to think maybe when Michael said “of course” to bringing in Stanley, it might have been because he was black. I do not want to jump to conclusions and say Michael is making prejudicial assumptions, but he did shoot Phyllis and Kevin down pretty darn fast despite actually volunteering while Stanley did. If the pressure wasn’t intense before, Michael and Darryl strike up a deal where the losing team has to work that coming weekend. This would definitely motivate people to not lose, although I was sort of baffled by this. I get that corporate wants people on the weekend, but we are talking about office staff versus warehouse. Each team does very different work so if corporate was aware of this, they would have a very different idea of which team they would prefer to come in based on their needs.

The time is officially here to kick off the big basketball game, and tensions couldn’t be higher. We start with Pam initiating the opening tip (since while she works upstairs, her fiancé is downstairs) and the ball is quickly taken by the office and given to Stanley. Unfortunately, this is where Michael quickly realizes that Stanley is not the type of player that he imagined, and he made a huge mistake. The game continues to not go in Michael’s favor as the ball gets taken away at numerous times, to the when Roy is able to score and Michael wants to know who was responsible for covering him (Michael was, he was the one responsible for covering Roy). Turns out a lot of the staff are pretty good with Dwight, Ryan, Phyllis, and Jim all scoring points to keep them in the game. Michael doesn’t really seem to know what he is doing, and I’m pretty surprised he plays like this if he supposedly gets together on the weekends. Even with Michael missing shots, Jim’s competitiveness with Roy certainly seems to keep the score in their favor so ultimately when Michael calls the came when he gets injured, they walk away the victors. Certainly, lucky he decided to end the game when he “didn’t know” they were ahead. Lucky for the warehouse, though, as Michael decides to not force them to come in on the weekend. While this isn’t fair to the competition, I will point out that they would be able to do very little on a weekend since businesses typically only accept deliveries during business hours Monday through Friday. But Michael isn’t making anyone come in so thank you Michael! He is right, would one day really make the difference to downsizing?

So, what did we actually learn today? Team sports in the office is certainly a great means to foster competition and team spirit. Even if you do not want to do a weekly team, finding sometime on a workday to devote to a game like Dunder Mifflin did could certainly also be a benefit for morale. Although, I do feel that if you promise something to be decided at the end of the match you should stick to it as otherwise you come off as a bit of a liar. Most of all, maybe when the boss goes on about how good of a basketball player, they are you should take their word with a grain of salt until you can see them play.

I do not know about you, but I built up quite a sweat just watching them all play. I may not be a basketball player but let us use this as a chance to remind ourselves we should all try to be more active especially when stuck at a desk all day. So that can be our goal for the week, find little ways of being more active especially during the work week. Until next time, I’ll be waiting for you right here in the breakroom.

Welcome back to another exciting day spent in the breakroom. While you might be excited for the events of today, I don’t think anyone was as eager as Dwight.

With that, let us go straight into the details of what has been going on today in the office. As we have been thinking about for weeks, the fear of the inevitable downsizing has been on everyone’s mind. Specifically, it is the sheer lack of information that we all have which is the source of the stress for some people, namely Dwight. But Michael isn’t worried, if anything he is trying to get our minds off this gloomy topic. And we must give him the credit of being such an optimistic and giving manager. I feel far too many in his position would actually love to be able to wield the power of getting to say “you’re fired” whenever they want, but instead he finds greater joy in being able to say, “you’re hired.” For those of you out there in entertainment, why don’t have we have a television show where instead of a monetary prize that simply gets taxed down to nothing and have one where people get jobs? I think most people would agree they’d actually feel more likely to get an interview going on a game show than navigating through LinkedIn, but that’s just my opinion.

While Michael is wading through this quagmire of boosting morale (he is very clearly a “good news only” type of leader) Dwight hopes to tap into new lines of office communication to gather information. Information in an office is exchanged through several different methods, normally each with their own purpose. Important information pertaining to the business is most often passed via memos or formal meetings, though we often see company-wide emails or newsletters fill this role nowadays too. Informal information, often referred to as “office gossip” is most often see with group instant messaging, chatting in the breakrooms (although we’re all above board here), and the infamous watercooler.

Just a bit about watercooler talk, for those of you who do not work in an office it truly does happen that colleagues were collect around a communal cooler/fountain to refill on water and use this as a chance to exchange information. Part of this will be personal goings on, but it will inevitably lead to talking about what each of them has seen, or heard, going on in the office. There have actually been studies done on office talk and it can actually be seen as a good thing, at least according to one study by a group out of Stanford University¹. You can go directly to the study titled Gossip and Ostracism Promote Cooperation in Groups or I was first lead to it via article summarizing this study published through Healthday². The study shows that when gossip occurs in a group setting, such as an office, inevitably people will begin to talk about others in the group and point out their shortcomings. Specifically, it is believed that coworkers will complain about a colleague who doesn’t do all of their work and is lazy, or perhaps is always late but doesn’t get caught, maybe even steals food from the fridge. While this sounds mean, the fear of having people talk about you like this will motivate you to check your behavior and actually become a better employee so no one talks about you. That is just a summarization of a summarization for this study, but I do recommend looking more into this because these are pretty interesting. And I can attest that when I am with coworkers and we are talking about a colleague, it is almost always something very good about their work ethic, or very bad. Of course, if you really do not feel like becoming proficient at your job, I suppose you could simply just chuck out all the fountains and coolers, but how about we call that Option B?

While Dwight understands the value behind water cooler chat, he unfortunately brings his own water to work and that means he isn’t privy to this resource. Quick tip, get a reusable water bottle because this still means you can use the office water source. While that tip would’ve made sense, Dwight decides to simply move the cooler right over to his desk to ensure he is the epicenter of all gossip. So, what’s the scuttlebutt? The real scuttlebutt is actually where we get that term. Scuttlebutt is a nautical term which referred to the cask in which drinking water would be stored on a ship. This was then carried over to when ships went to the use of fountains, and ultimately became a term referring to “gossip or rumor” because it was at these locations where sailors would partake in their own water cooler chat. Since then, it has become a common slang for gossip in general, but it quite literally means both the water cooler and the water cooler chat on a ship. This is where I would do a mic drop and just walk out of the office because we have essentially just peaked for the day, but I’m a good employee so I’ll stick it out for the remainder of the day.

Now, while Dwight has been busy with collecting information Michael was hard at work putting together Operation: Morale Improvement. What is the quickest means to improve office morale, you might ask? An office birthday party of course! And if it isn’t anyone’s party, just go ahead and pick the next birthday in the line up even if it is a month away. And the lucky employee is actually Meredith Palmer; with this the Party Planning Committee is tasked with putting together the party. We have Angela as the Head, along with Pam and Phyllis.

I have never personally had a workplace where a specific committee is created to be in charge of office parties. Most often this would be assigned to the manager of the office to celebrate individual birthdays, if they even do that as not every office will. While it might sound like fun to have employees set up to handle the birthdays, you do have to wonder how much fun they have it when it is up to them to put together their own party. Regarding birthday parties in the office, I do know that there are some out there who might not be that interested in them. In particular, if the manager or Committee isn’t there to provide refreshments it would be on the employee to offer up the treats for the day. Even for those who do have special events, not every person would be interested in having their workspace decorated. More importantly, it is important to ensure the cake and food is able to be enjoyed by the birthday person. So if someone, like Meredith, is allergic to dairy then perhaps you should rethink doing an ice cream cake. As I know several individuals with gluten allergies, you should take the time to ensure the party can be enjoyed properly. BrainyHR does have a number of tips to ensure a party is enjoyable in the workplace including not dragging it on too long, make sure everyone is invited, and definitely think of tailoring food options appropriately.³

As the party is hard at work, Dwight is initiating his final gambit by asking Jim to join him in an alliance. While this is certainly a real word, I will clarify for those unfamiliar that the use of alliance truly found way into the ethos based on its use on the television show, Survivor. While this is a game show where there can only be one winner, it was common for two or more contestants for form a partnership where they focus on eliminating the other contestants so they might make it to the end. Since this branch is facing downsizing, his logic would be they look out for one another and try to survive in the event the branch is closed. While Jim takes only a split second to decide to turn this into one of his hilarious pranks (you’re 27 years old Jim) Dwight was actually on to something. Many sources out there there encourage forming alliances in the workplace, and not just about having friendships. An article with LinkedIn by Mark Williams talks about how having a work alliance provides you a partner to which can help with sharing ideas on problems or even to get advice⁴. Given the fact that this risk of downsizing is a very real problem and not simply a hypothetical scenario, I would encourage you go out and find an ally. Even if you do not think you can save the whole branch, you might be able to help secure your own future.

Dwight is not the only one trying to work the office today, our accountant Oscar is also going around to his coworkers with his own request. It seems his nephew is doing a charity walk so he is trying to get some colleagues to pledge money, which brings up a good question. Should we feel obligated to donate money when our coworkers are collecting the funds for a good cause? Most of us have been there with these requests such as: wrapping paper, gift cards, raffle tickets, and Girl Scout cookies. All too often we might feel compelled to purchase them, especially if we made a purchase from one colleague we might feel required to do so for everyone. Virginia Backaitis with the New York Post even wrote an article about it in which she reiterates you should not “be suckered” into donating to all of them. Perhaps you are on a budget and cannot warrant donating to them all, or perhaps they might be selling something that you could not reasonably use. For instance, I haven’t had to buy wrapping paper in two or three years with all that I have stored so I would certainly not have any need to purchase more for awhile. So what do they recommend? To summarize a few good points: you do not need to go into detail on a reason as your reasons are your own, and if you would like to try to give to as many as you can perhaps you should set yourself a price point⁵. And while I have never had to worry about pushy coworkers, do not try to coerce your colleagues into making a purchase. If they say no, that is simply the way it is and it doesn’t mean they are bad people in anyway. But please learn from Michael and if the request has to do with a pledge, read the fine print otherwise you might be committing to $25 for each mile walked and not just a flat donation.

Out in the bullpen, Meredith is certainly surprised at the party for her. Not only was she not expecting having a party a month away from her actual birthday, it was exciting there was a cake that she couldn’t even enjoy. Even more so, we have some colorful jokes in her card. So what exactly is the appropriate etiquette to your message in someone’s card at work? You are typically safe with a very small joke, but should be not only work appropriate but tailored to their specific type of humor. At the end of day, a simple “Happy Birthday” is more than enough and that is my default. Mind you, my level of hilarity cannot possibly be contained to a simple blurb but I am very confident you do not need to over think it. And if the goal of the party was to boost morale about downsizing, it might be best to not even mention the downsizing.

But what exactly happened to Dwight in the end? His master plan climaxed with him hiding in a cardboard to eavesdrop on a secret meeting between another alliance. While I do not have the official ruling, it is certainly a safety issue to disguise yourself in a cardboard box in an active loading dock and could result in serious injury. So for those Dwights out there, please do not do this. But what about his eavesdropping? There actually is an article by Alina Dizik with The Wall Street Journal which promotes the benefits behind eavesdropping in the office. New employees can learn how to deal with their customers by hearing seasoned workers on the phone, employers can get a sense of office morale based on how colleagues are talking to each other, and then we have the notion of digital eavesdropping. Many companies employ tracking tools on company devices so not only can work be monitored, it could be possible to seek out potential offenses in emails⁶. While open conversations are impossible not to overhear, it is important to know that there state and federal laws surrounding inappropriate eavesdropping. Unknown recording devices on private conversations and even hiding in a room, or box, to listen to a private conversation can be considered illegal. While Dwight was lured under false pretenses, he could have been legally in trouble had he intentionally hid and overheard a private conversation. So for those of you thinking about becoming an office snoop, you better brush on up what you can legally do in your state. Regardless, I believe hiding in a box isn’t okay in any of them.

And just like that the work day is over, seems like that entire day just flashed by in only 20 minutes. There was an impromptu birthday party, a charity shakedown, and an alliance filled with betrayal and illegal activity. Hard to see why people think working in an office can be boring when we have so much office politics happening. I am ready to call it a day and clear my end of all the twists and turns of the day, and I hope that if you can walk away with having learned anything today, at least you can whip out the origin of “scuttlebutt” at your next party. Until next time, I’ll see you back in the breakroom.