The Office: Season 2, Episode 1 “The Dundies”

Hello everyone and thank you so much for joining us for another day here in the breakroom! The happenings here in the office continue to get better and I think today is going to be extra exciting, almost like a new season, if you will. This evening marks the annual Dundies! What are the Dundies, you ask? Well, according to Michael it is everyone’s favorite day; if you don’t believe him, just check out the electricity in the air.

The Dundies are actually a brainchild of Michaels in that everyone in the office is awarded a special award to celebrate their time here. Besides being really funny, it gives a chance for those who would normally not get an award for anything else (like Kevin or Meredith) to be celebrated with something special. I know all too often I go home and talk to my neighbors and hear about how they get no recognition, nor have they ever received an award. Come to think of it, I have noticed an odd smell coming from their house… Anyways I believe that the Dundies offer a chance to feel special.

So the question is do other companies do big award ceremonies for their staff? These sorts of events really do occur with each company putting their own spin on them. The most common scenario I know of is annual event which often includes dancing and/or entertainment, usually a sit-down meal which is served although a buffet is not uncommon, and then awards are handed. My personal experience involves company-wide events so the attendance would be much larger than one office branch, so they do not do individual awards catered to each person. Usually there would be awards for years of service to celebrate how long you have been there, with the type of award increasing with the year. Usually, the first year is a simple certificate and then they can become plaques and even pins that can be worn; and then there is often some sort of gift card alongside this. In addition, there are awards which equate to “employee of the year” to call out a few specific employees for going above and beyond in the capacity of their role. So, let us say you want to do an annual event like this for your company, what are your options? Setting aside your budget, you certainly want to plan something that is catered to your staff and this will often rely on how many people this will presented to. The scenario for a larger company I mentioned earlier certainly can be seen as very generic at times, but when you are trying to do something for a large staff then it makes much more sense to do something like that. If you do offer a ceremony with food, I will say that you will often see more employees present if this is scheduled during a workday. This means they get an extra-long break, lunch for that day is provided, and they do not need to take time out in the evening when they would normally have their own plans. But when you’re looking at a smaller group like the Scranton office at Dunder Mifflin, they are more likely to have more fun doing something more personal. This can be renting out a room at a restaurant, or even a general venue and food can be ordered in without needing to create an over-the-top spectacle. At the end of the day, it is important to remember that the event is catered towards your staff so please be mindful of what would be most accommodating to them. Does every person want to spend their Friday night out at a Chili’s with their coworkers accepting silly awards? No, but the alcohol and being able to invite significant others certainly helps make it more bearable.

So how does everyone in the office feel about the Dundies? According to Pam it is comparable to staring at a car wreck because your boss is making you. Oscar compares it to a child’s birthday party, where you are having a terrible time but the kid is having the time of their life so you put up with it. Certainly not a great start, although this doesn’t sound too bad if people actually get awards. Jim supposedly has his hidden, while Dwight actually has them in a case above his bed (TMI Dwight, thanks for the visual). Stanley must have thrown his away, unfortunately. But he does remember that they ran out of appetizers; perfect example of another tip for hosting your awards, it is okay to invest more money in the refreshments than the awards themselves. Everyone loves a free meal so that truly needs to be a requirement. Now if you are a true performer of a manager, you also have the option of recording the entire event as a keepsake like the Oscars or Grammys. Or, if you are Michael, it means you can entrust Pam to watch through all of the footage for highlights. Still trying to ascertain why Pam isn’t a huge fan of the Dundies, but I think I’ll get there.

Stepping away from the Dundies, let’s talk about what is happening in the girl’s bathroom. Evidently someone has written something inappropriate about Michael on one of the walls; I tried to find out what it was but to no avail. I think we have all seen some of what is scribbled on bathroom walls, so it is safe to say is most likely not the nicest, or cleanest. I have never written anything on a bathroom wall and I truly cannot understand what must be going through someone’s mind when they do so. I’m sure someone was simply trying to vent about Michael, but all you did was create a very difficult mess for the cleaning staff to attempt to clean. Writing on the bathroom wall is nothing new, there is a long history which probably goes back as far as we’ve had formal bathrooms. There have even been scientific studies conducted to evaluate what is written, the frequency, and even comparing the scrawling between genders. Now I will not go in-depth here, but I recommend looking up the article Behind the Writing on the Stalls by Julie Beck published with The Atlantic. Offers some pretty interesting information on both the act but also all of the research people have invested into it¹. What I do want to comment on is the reaction to this scribble in which Michael gets so interested in finding out what it is and Dwight goes out of his way to catch a glimpse of it. While I am not a face of defacement like this, I personally believe that if it is a one-time instance, it should just be let go and chopped up to someone was simply upset. When someone is routinely making notes and images and it is just unfair to the cleaning staff who have to deal with it, that’s when you should actually start to care about it. But that is my two cents.

Speaking of money, the rumor is that Jan at corporate is not approving any spending for the Dundies tonight. I guess that means someone else will be paying for the food and drinks. It is a shame this happened, but we did have a pretty wild ride; can’t believe you were not here for the “05/05/05” party, our luau, or the hurricane fun-raiser. Companies are always trying to find ways of boosting morale, I suppose since they are so opposed to bonuses or wages, maybe they should start throwing parties each month with free food.

But tonight is not about all of those other parties but is all about the Dundies! Chili’s is in full swing with Michael performing some classic song and dance while drinks are making their way around. Unfortunately, we just found out that we are formally responsible for our own checks tonight. Should’ve known there was a reason why suddenly we could bring our significant others with us. Strange Michael forgot to tell us this until we were already at the restaurant, and we’d gotten our orders in, almost like he knew we’d feel obligated to stay. Somehow, that isn’t even the cringiest part of the night! Did you see Pam and Roy arguing outside? He and Darryl decided that if they had to pay, they’d rather than just bail on the awards and go out to Poor Richards. Seems Pam didn’t take too kindly on being told what to do, I’m thinking trouble in paradise. If that’s too tame for you, then check out Michael’s “Ping” impression; I’m pretty sure I do not have to come up with an article explaining why you shouldn’t do this impression yourself for your staff. While we may have been having a rough time, at least we were not heckling Michael like those punk kids in the booth next to us. I feel the need to call out people like this, how do you feel that it is okay to be so cruel to random strangers like that. As a piece of formal advice, keep your comments to yourself because you’re really not funny; and Elton John rocks, so don’t hate.

The most unique piece of the Dundies is the fact that they do not resort to generic awards but instead are each custom crafted. But it is important to note that just because you can make a joke out of an award, does not mean that you should make that joke. Looking at all of the Dundies we had this year, we had:

Phyllis – Busiest “Bushiest” Beaver
Ryan – Hottest in the Office
Angela – Tight-Ass
Kelly – Spicy Curry
Kevin – Don’t Go in there After Me
Stanely – Fine Work
Pam – Whitest Sneakers

There is a fine assortment of awards here but not all of them would be considered appropriate in most work settings so absolutely edit yourself when making these sorts of decisions. Which of these of would be appropriate? The Busiest Beaver and Fine Work are pretty safe and generic awards for good work, although you will want to ensure that everything is spelled accurately. These could even be too generic, and I believe the Whitest Sneakers award is the best one. It isn’t offensive, it’s very particular to Pam who takes such care to keep her shoes pristine, and yet it is still sort of funny. The remaining awards are examples of ones which can be rude, inappropriate, or even racist. So please, more Sneakers and less Curry.

And that was this year’s Dundies, thankfully Pam did not collapse from being drunk until the very end so it didn’t put a damper on the party. Although, she actually got banned from Chili’s so that’s a pretty severe punishment. Final piece of advice for events like these: do not get drunk or let your staff get drunk. I can assure you that no one will ever forget about it and that will be all you’re known for. I sure hope you had a great time and you’re happy with your own Dundie award, the “I Survived My First Dundies” award. You absolutely have earned it with everything you’ve gone through tonight. Drive home safely and I’ll be seeing you next week in the breakroom.