The Office: Season 1, Episode 4 “The Alliance”

Welcome back to another exciting day spent in the breakroom. While you might be excited for the events of today, I don’t think anyone was as eager as Dwight.

With that, let us go straight into the details of what has been going on today in the office. As we have been thinking about for weeks, the fear of the inevitable downsizing has been on everyone’s mind. Specifically, it is the sheer lack of information that we all have which is the source of the stress for some people, namely Dwight. But Michael isn’t worried, if anything he is trying to get our minds off this gloomy topic. And we must give him the credit of being such an optimistic and giving manager. I feel far too many in his position would actually love to be able to wield the power of getting to say “you’re fired” whenever they want, but instead he finds greater joy in being able to say, “you’re hired.” For those of you out there in entertainment, why don’t have we have a television show where instead of a monetary prize that simply gets taxed down to nothing and have one where people get jobs? I think most people would agree they’d actually feel more likely to get an interview going on a game show than navigating through LinkedIn, but that’s just my opinion.

While Michael is wading through this quagmire of boosting morale (he is very clearly a “good news only” type of leader) Dwight hopes to tap into new lines of office communication to gather information. Information in an office is exchanged through several different methods, normally each with their own purpose. Important information pertaining to the business is most often passed via memos or formal meetings, though we often see company-wide emails or newsletters fill this role nowadays too. Informal information, often referred to as “office gossip” is most often see with group instant messaging, chatting in the breakrooms (although we’re all above board here), and the infamous watercooler.

Just a bit about watercooler talk, for those of you who do not work in an office it truly does happen that colleagues were collect around a communal cooler/fountain to refill on water and use this as a chance to exchange information. Part of this will be personal goings on, but it will inevitably lead to talking about what each of them has seen, or heard, going on in the office. There have actually been studies done on office talk and it can actually be seen as a good thing, at least according to one study by a group out of Stanford University¹. You can go directly to the study titled Gossip and Ostracism Promote Cooperation in Groups or I was first lead to it via article summarizing this study published through Healthday². The study shows that when gossip occurs in a group setting, such as an office, inevitably people will begin to talk about others in the group and point out their shortcomings. Specifically, it is believed that coworkers will complain about a colleague who doesn’t do all of their work and is lazy, or perhaps is always late but doesn’t get caught, maybe even steals food from the fridge. While this sounds mean, the fear of having people talk about you like this will motivate you to check your behavior and actually become a better employee so no one talks about you. That is just a summarization of a summarization for this study, but I do recommend looking more into this because these are pretty interesting. And I can attest that when I am with coworkers and we are talking about a colleague, it is almost always something very good about their work ethic, or very bad. Of course, if you really do not feel like becoming proficient at your job, I suppose you could simply just chuck out all the fountains and coolers, but how about we call that Option B?

While Dwight understands the value behind water cooler chat, he unfortunately brings his own water to work and that means he isn’t privy to this resource. Quick tip, get a reusable water bottle because this still means you can use the office water source. While that tip would’ve made sense, Dwight decides to simply move the cooler right over to his desk to ensure he is the epicenter of all gossip. So, what’s the scuttlebutt? The real scuttlebutt is actually where we get that term. Scuttlebutt is a nautical term which referred to the cask in which drinking water would be stored on a ship. This was then carried over to when ships went to the use of fountains, and ultimately became a term referring to “gossip or rumor” because it was at these locations where sailors would partake in their own water cooler chat. Since then, it has become a common slang for gossip in general, but it quite literally means both the water cooler and the water cooler chat on a ship. This is where I would do a mic drop and just walk out of the office because we have essentially just peaked for the day, but I’m a good employee so I’ll stick it out for the remainder of the day.

Now, while Dwight has been busy with collecting information Michael was hard at work putting together Operation: Morale Improvement. What is the quickest means to improve office morale, you might ask? An office birthday party of course! And if it isn’t anyone’s party, just go ahead and pick the next birthday in the line up even if it is a month away. And the lucky employee is actually Meredith Palmer; with this the Party Planning Committee is tasked with putting together the party. We have Angela as the Head, along with Pam and Phyllis.

I have never personally had a workplace where a specific committee is created to be in charge of office parties. Most often this would be assigned to the manager of the office to celebrate individual birthdays, if they even do that as not every office will. While it might sound like fun to have employees set up to handle the birthdays, you do have to wonder how much fun they have it when it is up to them to put together their own party. Regarding birthday parties in the office, I do know that there are some out there who might not be that interested in them. In particular, if the manager or Committee isn’t there to provide refreshments it would be on the employee to offer up the treats for the day. Even for those who do have special events, not every person would be interested in having their workspace decorated. More importantly, it is important to ensure the cake and food is able to be enjoyed by the birthday person. So if someone, like Meredith, is allergic to dairy then perhaps you should rethink doing an ice cream cake. As I know several individuals with gluten allergies, you should take the time to ensure the party can be enjoyed properly. BrainyHR does have a number of tips to ensure a party is enjoyable in the workplace including not dragging it on too long, make sure everyone is invited, and definitely think of tailoring food options appropriately.³

As the party is hard at work, Dwight is initiating his final gambit by asking Jim to join him in an alliance. While this is certainly a real word, I will clarify for those unfamiliar that the use of alliance truly found way into the ethos based on its use on the television show, Survivor. While this is a game show where there can only be one winner, it was common for two or more contestants for form a partnership where they focus on eliminating the other contestants so they might make it to the end. Since this branch is facing downsizing, his logic would be they look out for one another and try to survive in the event the branch is closed. While Jim takes only a split second to decide to turn this into one of his hilarious pranks (you’re 27 years old Jim) Dwight was actually on to something. Many sources out there there encourage forming alliances in the workplace, and not just about having friendships. An article with LinkedIn by Mark Williams talks about how having a work alliance provides you a partner to which can help with sharing ideas on problems or even to get advice⁴. Given the fact that this risk of downsizing is a very real problem and not simply a hypothetical scenario, I would encourage you go out and find an ally. Even if you do not think you can save the whole branch, you might be able to help secure your own future.

Dwight is not the only one trying to work the office today, our accountant Oscar is also going around to his coworkers with his own request. It seems his nephew is doing a charity walk so he is trying to get some colleagues to pledge money, which brings up a good question. Should we feel obligated to donate money when our coworkers are collecting the funds for a good cause? Most of us have been there with these requests such as: wrapping paper, gift cards, raffle tickets, and Girl Scout cookies. All too often we might feel compelled to purchase them, especially if we made a purchase from one colleague we might feel required to do so for everyone. Virginia Backaitis with the New York Post even wrote an article about it in which she reiterates you should not “be suckered” into donating to all of them. Perhaps you are on a budget and cannot warrant donating to them all, or perhaps they might be selling something that you could not reasonably use. For instance, I haven’t had to buy wrapping paper in two or three years with all that I have stored so I would certainly not have any need to purchase more for awhile. So what do they recommend? To summarize a few good points: you do not need to go into detail on a reason as your reasons are your own, and if you would like to try to give to as many as you can perhaps you should set yourself a price point⁵. And while I have never had to worry about pushy coworkers, do not try to coerce your colleagues into making a purchase. If they say no, that is simply the way it is and it doesn’t mean they are bad people in anyway. But please learn from Michael and if the request has to do with a pledge, read the fine print otherwise you might be committing to $25 for each mile walked and not just a flat donation.

Out in the bullpen, Meredith is certainly surprised at the party for her. Not only was she not expecting having a party a month away from her actual birthday, it was exciting there was a cake that she couldn’t even enjoy. Even more so, we have some colorful jokes in her card. So what exactly is the appropriate etiquette to your message in someone’s card at work? You are typically safe with a very small joke, but should be not only work appropriate but tailored to their specific type of humor. At the end of day, a simple “Happy Birthday” is more than enough and that is my default. Mind you, my level of hilarity cannot possibly be contained to a simple blurb but I am very confident you do not need to over think it. And if the goal of the party was to boost morale about downsizing, it might be best to not even mention the downsizing.

But what exactly happened to Dwight in the end? His master plan climaxed with him hiding in a cardboard to eavesdrop on a secret meeting between another alliance. While I do not have the official ruling, it is certainly a safety issue to disguise yourself in a cardboard box in an active loading dock and could result in serious injury. So for those Dwights out there, please do not do this. But what about his eavesdropping? There actually is an article by Alina Dizik with The Wall Street Journal which promotes the benefits behind eavesdropping in the office. New employees can learn how to deal with their customers by hearing seasoned workers on the phone, employers can get a sense of office morale based on how colleagues are talking to each other, and then we have the notion of digital eavesdropping. Many companies employ tracking tools on company devices so not only can work be monitored, it could be possible to seek out potential offenses in emails⁶. While open conversations are impossible not to overhear, it is important to know that there state and federal laws surrounding inappropriate eavesdropping. Unknown recording devices on private conversations and even hiding in a room, or box, to listen to a private conversation can be considered illegal. While Dwight was lured under false pretenses, he could have been legally in trouble had he intentionally hid and overheard a private conversation. So for those of you thinking about becoming an office snoop, you better brush on up what you can legally do in your state. Regardless, I believe hiding in a box isn’t okay in any of them.

And just like that the work day is over, seems like that entire day just flashed by in only 20 minutes. There was an impromptu birthday party, a charity shakedown, and an alliance filled with betrayal and illegal activity. Hard to see why people think working in an office can be boring when we have so much office politics happening. I am ready to call it a day and clear my end of all the twists and turns of the day, and I hope that if you can walk away with having learned anything today, at least you can whip out the origin of “scuttlebutt” at your next party. Until next time, I’ll see you back in the breakroom.