Category: The Office

Good morning everyone and welcome back to the Breakroom. As most of you know this has been truly a rollercoaster of a week. It kicked off with the murder of Minnesota state Representative Melissa Hortman and her husband, and the attempted murder of Minnesota state Senator John Hoffman and his wife. While the suspect in these shootings has been apprehended, it is further evidence in the danger that is facing this country due to political discord. These shootings occurred on Saturday alongside hundreds of “No Kings” protests which occurred across the country to protest President Trump’s selfish attempt at throwing a military parade just in time for his birthday. The cornerstone of this country is to be able to voice concerns and protest against acts you disagree with, but these murders go beyond any sort of protest are blatant attacks. And I hope the families are doing okay in light of these vicious assaults. These are scary times in this country and I hope all of my readers are being mindful and safe out there.

With nothing in my personal life being able to top what has gone in this country this week, let us get into today’s Breakdown! This is a continuation from last week where you may remember Michael is attempting ease the stress in the office after Dwight’s botched safety training resulted in Stanley having a heart attack. In the end, Michael realizes that the source of this office’s stress is at his own hands. So now Michael is wracked with this knowledge and doesn’t know how he can address it. The problem lies in he is seeing the stress having to do with his position as the boss rather than anything having to do with his personality or his actions.

He finally does come up with a solution in a method to address what he believes to be the issue, and that is everyone is too intimidated with him so naturally they cannot feel relaxed at work. The solution? He is going to set up a roast of Michael Scott so everyone can poke fun at him. For those unfamiliar, a roast (made very populate through Comedy Central roasts) is where a guess of honor is made fun of by his friends and colleagues. Having grown up during these roasts I can confirm they were very popular. I have seen clips of them since then and I’ve come to realize that they really are not all that funny. Besides the fact that my sense of humor has changed since then, as a former theatre major I do believe that there are trends and audience opinions which come and go. My biggest problem with the roasts of old are that they can get very mean and quite insulting, to be honest. While these are most professionals in the entertainment industry, I do believe that many of us think we have thicker skin that we really do. I can honestly say that I would not feel comfortable to have people roasting me like that, nor would I feel good about myself in roasting them back. Does everyone else agree with me in how comedy changes over time, or is this more my personal opinion and these roasts are still funny?

Only hours later we are downstairs in the warehouse, some of us having invited our significant others to come in, and Michael is on stage preparing to be roasted. Perhaps what was most interesting was getting to hear all of the different jokes people had because it really shines a light into the type of humor each person has.

Angela: Had a whole bit of “If you have ever done blank you might be Michael Scott. Certainly came off like a standup comedian.
Kelly: Went through a list of people she would rather make out with over Michael.
Meredith: Talked about how he has ruined her life and is the reason she drinks
Oscar: Vented at him entirely in Spanish, so I think we lost a bit in translation.
Jim: Broke down the many vocabulary deficiencies that Michael has such as not knowing what words mean or gets the phrase wrong.
Dwight: Tried to defend Michael but after being told how stupid he was just simply lost it and criticized him as a weak man.
Pam: Certainly tried to ham it up like a comedian in breaking down how Michael always falls for internet scams, never works, and said he had a small penis, “If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle.”
Darryl: Pointed out that while Michael always calls them a family, he couldn’t even remember the name of one of the guys in the warehouse. His name was also Michael.
Andy: Our musical entertainer, wrapped a song making fun of him.

As far as a roast being put on by a paper company could go, it was actually pretty good and people were genuinely having fun. Everyone, that is, except for Michael. He got up for his finale and he ended up choking up and had to run out. Like I said earlier, those roasts might look fun but most of us don’t have the skin for those types of jokes meant to be mean and personal. Even into the next day, Michael hadn’t shown up and called in citing a personal day.

Finally, at the end of the day, Michael did show up (in a really great turtleneck, I might add) and he had a few things to say. In response to all of the jokes thrown at him, he was ready with comebacks to everyone (I think to try to make himself feel better). We were all surprised by his sudden appearance, until Stanley started laughing. With that, we all began to leave and it really helped make up for everything that had happened. And that is how roasts typically end in the roastee gets up to roast everyone else and it is meant to end in an overall celebration of them.

So doing a roast of yourself as the boss is technically one way of handling stress in the office. But what other ways are there? I think it is important in recognizing the source: is the company causing unnecessary stress, or is the general stress that everyone experiences? While we should expect workers to be able to self diagnose when they are getting too stressed out at work, it does help to have a supportive leader on the lookout to ensure people are not getting burnt out, so here are few things that can be done:

Take your time off. One of the key culprits behind stress is not taking your time off you are owed. This is in two parts, your daily break as well as taking a vacation. If you feel you have so much work that you cannot take your breaks or vacations, there is a problem that you should bring to your leader. Europe is famous for mandating people to take their vacations, so don’t you dare work yourself so hard that you get burnt out.

Workload. It is possible to take on more than you should, maybe you are short staffed or you are among those who believes that the raises and promotions go to those who work harder than anyone else. Your job is entitled to only so many responsibilities and duties, so do your fair share and acknowledge that you are done. Doing just what is expected has been called “quiet quitting” and I am going call that out as moronic because those who use that term want their staff to do more work than their job is expected to. And for the record, unless you own the company, you shouldn‘t be thinking about work when you are done. I work from home and even I don’t think about work when I’m off the clock because it is not my responsibility or problem any more.

Take yourself out of your head. Sometimes it helps to clear your head. When on break, get away from the desk rather than spending it at your desk. If you can get away with it, put on music or even a tv show while you’re working to set the tone to something a bit more interesting. I can confirm this definitely helps when you’re doing things like data entry or just plugging away through work assignments.

Grab a distraction. Sometimes it helps to do something with your hands, so consider a fidget toy (which became really popular for awhile). If you want something more productive, why not try a Zen garden? Gives you an actual task to focus on, taking your mind off whatever is bothering you with work that day. You can also take a page out of Stanley’s book and take puzzles like crosswords.

Grab a snack. Sometimes it helps to grab a snack, maybe you are more hungry than stressed. I have also heard that sour candy can clear your mind when having stress or anxiety so I can recommend starting there with some sour gummy bears (a personal favorite) or some hard candy because you have to take the time to suck on them. These are good for a special treat but be careful around heavy snacking since poor nutrition certainly would not help your stress.

Get active. I mentioned earlier about getting away from your desk, well why not move around. I have had colleagues who take regular walks on their breaks or if you have an under the desk cycling machine like I do you can do that for a few minutes. They do say that exercise helps release hormones to make yourself feel better, and perhaps burn off a little steam.

If you have any additional recommendations on how to manage stress at work, by all means feel free to share with us!

I hope these techniques might help out the next time you are having a rough day at work, and if nothing else perhaps reading this blog helped distract you just long enough as well. Until next time, I hope you have a great weekend and I’ll be sure to see you around the Breakroom!

Good morning everyone and welcome back to the Breakroom! This has been a mostly uneventful week here on my end. Work has been straightforward, haven’t been up to any major adventures, although I will mention I have officially filled up half of my new compost bin so that was a pretty proud achievement! Outside of the home, I believe the biggest topic at hand is what has been going on in California. For those unfamiliar with the evolving events, we are seeing soldiers sent out into the street to quell protests being held against ICE. While the National Guard and even the marines were sent there at the request of the President, but Governor Newsom made no such request and actually stated he did not want them in the state. The fear of this instances is that the Federal government is using miliary personnel to go after anything it feels goes against it, which is very worrisome considering there are similar protests occurring throughout the country. For the record, the President didn’t see fit to call in troops during the January 6 insurrection, but seems to think it is necessary for peaceful protests. For any of my readers out there attending these protests, I hope you are being safe and please be careful out there.

With that safety warning, I think that is a great transition into today’s Breakdown. There was one major event and that was a safety demonstration from our own Dwight Schrute. That sounds pretty straightforward, but let me walk you through what this consisted of. Dwight gave us a safety talk last week on what to do in the event of a file occurring in the office using PowerPoint. While considered an excellent presentation tool, but Dwight believes PowerPoint is too boring and the best teacher is experience. To create the experience he has designed an elaborate fire simulation. He locked the doors to the outside, cut the phone lines, and even used a blowtorch to hit up the doorhandles. He then lit a garbage can on file to generate smoke which would slowly fill the office and waited for us to notice. The moment we noticed the smoke and thought there was a fire, chaos ensued. Kevin decided to break into the vending machines to hoard all of the snacks, this is while Jim and Andy attempt to breakdown doors using the printer. Oscar attempts to find help by climbing through the ceiling, only to end up breaking through. Angela even attempted to save her new cat that has been staying her by throwing him up through the ceiling for Oscar to take with him (crying out “Save Bandit!”). We are all panicking until Dwight finally announces that this was all a test and there is not a real fire so we can relax. And with that, Stanley proceeded to collapse due to a heart attack from the stress. If your safety training doesn’t pose a risk of death or injury, is it really that informative?

To break this down, I do actually like the concept of doing a fire simulation. We are all used to having fire drills in which the alarms go off, you leave the building and then wait out in the cold until you can go back in. But these drills are always assuming the fire is located in convenient locations, and I feel it would be helpful to know what should be done in dangerous situations. The problem with what Dwight did was not telling people this was a drill, and certainly resulted in a great deal of panic and damage to company property. Additionally, during the simulation Dwight really was trying to give instructions on how to proceed with recommendations about touching doorhandles to see if they were warm, don’t worry about grabbing belongings, and remembering your exit points. I have never had a designated safety officer for an office setting before but I do believe each office should have one and I believe it would be a good idea to have plans in place for various types of emergencies. Use this opportunity to design one for fire safety for your office, or even your home. For starters, make sure you have a fire extinguisher that is still valid; it would also be beneficially to be trained on how to properly use one. It would also be wise to be trained in on fire safety protocols, which they do have a number of online and in-person courses that can be followed. You can also go online to find possible outlines of a designated plan for your office to go off of, including through Indeed. Your best bet will likely be through the US Fire Administration which can help educate you on common fire risks in the office setting.

We all thought the fire was going to be the worst part of the day but that relief it was fake did not last long once Stanley had his heart attack. It really brought into question on what should be done as Michael wanted to try to start doing mouth-to-mouth and stuck his wallet in his mouth to keep him from biting/swallowing his tongue. He likely learned that from a movie, as the Mayo Clinic does have slightly different instructions. The key is to contact 911 immediately so an ambulance can be dispatched and arrive in time. From there, the responder will proceed to provide instructions based on the individual’s condition. CPR can actually be used if they are not breathing or do not have a pulse, but it is important to be knowledgeable and trained in CPR to do so, otherwise they advise to focus on the chest compressions¹. Michael did line up a CPR educator to come to the office to teach us so we could be prepared for next time. Evidently he really only wanted the CPR dummy but couldn’t figure out how to get one without an instructor along with it (evidently he didn’t check Amazon). Perhaps the most interesting piece was to do with chest compressions and that it is helpful to use a song tune to help maintain the necessary 100 beats per minute and they recommended Stayin Alive by the Bee Gees which has long been a popular song for this. There are numerous other songs that could also be used which UT Southwestern has compiled which even includes recent hits like Poker Face by Lady Gaga or Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan. I will be honest in that I am not CPR certified but this does motivate me to want to because you never know when it could come in handy².

Naturally this entire incident has also got people thinking about how important it is to take care of ourselves since our lifestyles really can have an impact on our lives. In particular, Stanley has been advised to find better means of coping with his stress levels. He actually tried to convince Michael that he could work from home for the foreseeable future but he quickly ruled that out. Instead he is trying to make the office as peaceful as possible including leading meditation, relaxing music, and talking through a tranquil scenario. It was about now that we found out Stanley was given a monitor that goes off when Stanley is feeling stressed out. Coincidentally, it starts going off when Michael talks too much or gets to close to him; and towards Oscar when he tested it out as well. This is when it dawns on Michael that he is the source of most of the stress in the office. Most but certainly not all, because Dwight really needs to take responsibility for this one. It will be interesting to see what Michael decided to do to address the stress we feel from him.

You might wondering if Dwight was let go for all of the stress that he caused. I forgot to mention that if the fire scenario wasn’t enough, when we were being taught CPR Dwight decided to cut off the face of the dummy and wear it, to recreate that scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre to see how realistic it was. All of this resulted in him having to go to corporate twice, and his punishment? Two warnings, must issue a formal apology to us and get our signatures. Frankly, it is astonishing that he has not been let go over this by corporate and the only theory I have is because the company is still struggling financially and they are not willing to fire the top salesman in the company. But obviously, there is only so far the company will put up with him so perhaps it is only a matter of time.

And that was this week’s Breakdown! I hope you were all able to learn a bit about fire safety and CPR. More than anything, I think it is important to develop safety plans for your office and I would encourage developing scenarios to go through them. Just scenarios, do not go to the lengths that Dwight did. And CPR training could be very beneficial to learn, but please go through a licensed professional to teach everyone. Ideally you should not be trying to learn this from Youtube and instead find a local class that you can go through the training.

Is anyone here the safety officer for your office? We would love to know about some of the plans, training, and initiatives you have developed for your office!

I hope you all have a great weekend and until next week, I’ll see you around the Breakroom!

1. (2024, May 9). Heart Attack: First Aid. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved June 12, 2025, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/first-aid/first-aid-heart-attack/basics/art-20056679 ↩︎
2. Uzendu, A., M.D. (2025, February 27). Pushing aside ‘Stayin’ Alive’: New songs to keep the (heart)beat during CPR. UT Southwestern. Retrieved June 12, 2025, from https://utswmed.org/medblog/cpr-songs-hands-only/#:~:text=For%20years%2C%20%E2%80%9CStayin’%20Alive%E2%80%9D%20by%20the%20Bee,which%20is%20between%20100%20to%20120%20BPM. ↩︎

Good morning everyone, and welcome back to the Breakroom. I hope you all have had a great week, here in this household we are still just trying to get rid of this darn cough we cannot seem to kick. It was not lost on me that perhaps getting out in the fresh air might help and this week we have been productive in exercising our green thumbs. As part of a recent Costco run we got some new plants for the garden, as well as an adorable bonsai plant. It was then while we were clearing dead foliage from our garden that I decided we should finally start composting. So I went ahead and found this compost bin which was officially delivered today and have gone ahead and set it up, along with some food scraps. I went with this model because I am supposed to be able to rotate the body to mix it up, rather than needing to do it by hand. I would love to hear from others on if they have some tips about getting into composting. Or simply share some great gardening tips for us who are a bit newer and just trying to have some fun. I know one personal goal I have is to get away from the classic grass lawn and try to develop a lawn of native plants that do not need to be mowed. A big part is because I know they tend to be more environmentally friendly, especially if they can are beneficial for our pollinators.

For those of you who saw our Facebook post will know that it is officially Pride Month. Breakroom Breakdown is created by and ran by the LGBTQ+ community and will always standby my fellow members, not to mention any marginalized group. I firmly believe we need a sense of community more than ever this year and will not be backing. For those of you finding it hard to stay optimistic about our future, please remember that you are not alone and you can always find support out here.

In other news, I think the main story from the business world is coming from multiple sources. I would not have predicted that Donald Trump and Elon Musk would have chosen Pride Month to have public meltdowns but here we are. Like that one toxic couple we have all seen in our lives, I feel we can anticipate some shocking level of escalation the remainder of the month. With that to look forward to, let us know jump into today’s Breakdown!

Naturally we have a classic Jim prank here, one that is both simple and yet brilliant. Jim had found ethernet cable on sale at a local flea market and decided to link it to Dwight’s computer and then run it all through the office. The result is Dwight confused as to the purpose, and he is ripping everything up trying to track down where it leads to. Jim chose to lead it all the way outside and up a telephone pole. Just because Jim was able to do it, I still feel this was a bit unsafe as of course Dwight would go up there. That being said, there are few people in the office that I would trust would be safe in attempting to scale the pole and Dwight is one of the few. Additionally, I feel this is one of the pranks that you could get away with pulling on one of your colleagues and they would actually find it amusing.

Now for the meat of the day, it started when David Wallace contacted Michael to assist with a project. They have yet to hire the regional supervisor position and are asking Michael to assist with some of the tasks they would normally assign them. This was the job that Michael had interviewed for way back when, I feel they should just give him a chance at the position because right now they simply have no one doing it. But this particular task is that they would sometimes investigate local competitors to see if there is a way to get an edge over them. This makes sense, if you have a bakery you would want to keep a pulse on what your competitors are doing so you can remain in competition with them. Unlike large brands like Staples, this is a small mom-and-pop shop that they cannot get a proper read on. I will be honest that it is when big companies come from these small entities that I get annoyed. Why are you spending time trying to mess with a family business, when you should be focusing on competitors who are as back as yourself. Staples and Office Max, those are the ones who you should be focusing on. But Michael agrees to do this, and enlists Dwight to assist.

Now in my opinion, Dwight and Michael choose to partage in what is known as corporate espionage. We normally think of espionage as sexy spies taking government secrets from foreign nationals, but it exists in the corporate world as well. The business world can get very competitive, so some companies will lie, cheat, and steal to get their hands on trade secrets, top personnel, and client lists. And corporate espionage is very illegal and, depending on what is involved, can result in prison time and/or heavy fines. Maybe this just me being a business nerd, but I personally love a good corporate espionage story because I truly get the thrill out of it as if it were about a spy in the Swiss alps trying to seduce an ambassador. There was recent incident (which is still unfolding) in which it was discovered that the company Deel sent in a spy to infiltrate their competitor Rippling. Over the course of months, this employee stole price points, package plans, and client information so that Deel could making competing products and underscore them. This even resulted in the said employee flushing their phone down the toilet just to hide evidence, and then the CEO of Deel being so unavailable he could not be properly served¹. As more information comes out, I feel like that story alone might deserve its own Breakdown to cover all that happens. And for the record, there is a difference between corporate espionage and simply doing your homework. Really any information you can ascertain from online searches or even from the company without any falsification of your identity can be considered you doing your own due process. Honestly, even if you were to go on Reddit and find that a disgruntled employee chose to release private information, you had no hand in initiating it so you are simply accessing readily available information. It is when you might pose as a customer or get hired to take the information, then that is where you need to evaluate the laws you are breaking. Yes there can be a grey area in that if the company was really trying to remain private they should also do their due diligence to be more secure of their secrets. But most companies would like to think that people have the decency to not try to steal from them, wouldn’t you think?

Michael and Dwight start with staking out the company to see what they can learn from the outside. The name of this poor company, Prince Paper. Dwight seems to know what he is looking for more than Michael. Michael is worried about the rain, Dwight notices that no lunch meetings seem to be going on so perhaps they are not attempting to expand more than they already are. Michael does offer a brilliant explanation of business though, and that is:

“In nature, there is something called a food chain; it’s where the shark eats a little shark. And the little shark eats a littler shark. And so on and so on. Until you get down to the single cell shark. So now replace sharks with paper companies and that is all you need to know about business.”

I get what Michael is trying to say and that is a pretty decent explanation of the food chain, although I am not a fan of comparing that to business. If all of the businesses slowly get eaten by one big shark, you are left with a monopoly and that is by no means a good thing. Also, there is no such thing as a one cell shark as one cell organisms are not sharks.

Before long, Michael heads in under his alias Michael Scarn and tells them he works at a law firm and is looking to get to know them as a possible supplier. I will mention that I have heard (likely from a television show) that supposedly if you are using an alias, it helps to use one which has the same initials as your real name. It is meant to make it easier to remember because you are able to form a connection with it. Again, I’m sure it was Leverage or Burn Notice but it sounds like something real so I’ll throw that factoid out to those who may need an alias some day. In this case, Michael’s plan starts to work and this warm, welcoming family starts to share all of their information. Dwight then comes in and uses his own identity but claims he is hoping to leave his current company to come here. Besides getting all of their questions answered, Michael is given a list of their top clients as a parting gift. That way he can call them to hear how satisfied they all are with Prince Paper. Of course, on their way out Michael accidentally drove over a parking divider and damaged. And true to their good nature, the Prince family comes out and helps get Michael’s vehicle all patched up to hit the road.

It was now that Michael was starting to have major reservations because the Prince family had been so generous and now they were going essentially destroy them. He was so close to destroying all the information they collected but Dwight is able to talk him down and explain that at the end of the day this is business. And if Dunder Mifflin doesn’t do this to Prince Paper, someone else is going to so they might as well do it. I’m just going to reiterate my earlier statement that not every business wants to be the biggest one on the block. Mom-and-pop shops are there to provide income for a family, not to take over the world and be an international household name. These large businesses need to stop trying to take out small businesses and focus on their larger competition. That or they can simply accept that they are as big as they need to be for awhile and that profits can remain steady rather than always increase. The financial struggles are tied to the fact that they continue to give themselves larger bonuses at the top, and heaven forbid they give those up. So Michael gives up the details to David Wallace who is pretty proud of Michael, and go a major win in his book.

You might be wondering what else was going on today in the office, maybe everyone was working hard with Michael gone? No, in fact none of us were actually working today all because of a dispute between Phyllis and Stanley. They could not agree on if Hillary Swank, the actress, was “hot.” This question split the office down the middle and actually resulted in some serious debates going on. Stanly, for example, felt that the hotness of Hillary gave him a reason to keep on living. Oscar, on the other hand, used koinophilia to prove that Hillary does not meet the requirements given that her face does not have perfect symmetry (which is often considered subconsciously attractive). But I feel that it is Kevin who describes it best in that it is a gut thing, because it really is. To describe someone as “hot” is difficult because each person has their own definition of what makes someone attractive, sexy, hot, handsome, etc… Now, a quick poll of myself, husband, and brother-in-law found that Hillary Swank wasn’t hot. But Angela compared her as a “female Boris Becker” which I found interesting as a young Becker just might the criteria of “hot”, although I’ve always been more of an Andre Agassi type of guy.

At the end of the day I think we can all agree that the definition of “hot” varies between each person and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

What I do know is hot is the weather because we are certainly starting to get close to summer. I hope you all get a chance to get outside to enjoy the green and maybe garden. And with it being Pride Month, how about we all support our community and maybe aggravate some bigots while we are at it. Until next time, I’ll see you around the Breakroom.

1. Jones, R. (2025, June 4). The Rippling and Deel spy saga takes a turn with new allegations. Semafor. Retrieved June 5, 2025, from https://www.semafor.com/article/06/04/2025/deel-fires-back-at-competitor-rippling-with-new-spying-allegations ↩︎

Good morning everyone and welcome back to the Breakroom! We meet again with illness still plaguing this household as the belief is now that I have walking pneumonia. I am just getting ready to start my antibiotics and I have been warned that I am going to be in for a fun time early on so I better get this Breakdown going while I still can!

This week started off with a surprise from the city in the form of a radar gun situated right outside our office building. This is one of those readers where it measures and shows how fast a vehicle is moving so they can see they are speeding. Turns out Angela was very upset there was so much speeding happening that she placed numerous 911 calls to complain, and this was how the city chose to address the issue. I suppose it is some sort of change, and I suspect they really wanted to keep Angela from calling in. I am not an expert when it comes to the 911 switchboard, but I do not believe speeding is considered an emergency.

You would think this was the end of the story but because of the proximity to our building, people have taken to running past the sign to see how fast they can get going and see who is the quickest. At first Michael was ecstatic that he was in the lead with 12 mph, until Dwight had to one up him. Quick to establish his dominance, Michael took another sprint the same time that an actual car was driving by, resulting in him getting 31 mph. Oscar tried to explain to him this wasn’t real because there was a car but Michael wouldn’t hear it and refused to listen to Oscar’s pleading of “it is humanly impossible.” I would side with Oscar that it was the car and that 31 mph is not possible. The current world record for running speed by a human was established in 2009 by Usain Bolt, his top speed being 27.78 mph. So either Michael Scott is the fastest human alive, or it was actually measuring the speed of the car that came long.

If you can believe it, that was probably the happiest moment of the week. The day kicked off with a rough start when Andy came in and asked the entire office why no one had RSVP’d to his and Angela’s wedding yet. You will recall that last week Phyllis revealed to us all that Angela had been sleeping with Dwight for months, but Andy still has no idea. Naturally none of us assumed the wedding was going to proceed so we did not RSVP since Angela should have found the time to break things off with Andy. We keep our lips shut but get together for an impromptu meeting over it when Michael almost spills the beans. We all agree that it should be Angela who should reveal this to Andy, it is her secret and it would be the decent thing to do in finally being honest. Of course, Angela doesn’t think that the time is right or that there is really any need to do it. Of all the times Angela doesn’t want to get involved with drama it is when it actually affects her.

We were all pretty content with just leaving it as is and trusting Angela would make the right decision. Everyone, that is, except for Michael. As he was heading out to head to corporate to meet with David Wallace, he asked for Andy to escort him out. We could see through the windows that Michael was having an awkward conversation but we could tell that Michael did disclose to him that Dwight and Angela were having an affair. Certainly an awkward moment, but I know there was been dispute on whether or not Michael made the right decision here. What do you think? I do agree that it should have been up to Angela to to come clean to Andy, and she should have done it as soon as the office was made privy since it would be only a matter of time before the secret was revealed. So given that Angela wasn’t up to it, I think Michael was likely in the right to make that decisions, especially to keep Andy from spending any more money.

Naturally this is where the mood in the office begins to turn as the details begin to be revealed. Andy confronts Angela and while she dances around the question, she does finally acknowledge that she has been sleeping with Dwight and that the entire office knew about it. I feel that we have been withholding this from him only added salt to the wound, so I agree it was really unfair that we didn’t tell him ourselves. But it is Dwight who truly has his anger and they begin to argue over who should end their relationship with Angela, because they are both still willing to be with her. Andy wants to fight him and Dwight decides to declare that this is a duel, for which Andy agrees. To ensure no one can get involved, they decide to meet in the parking lot later where it will be outside of work.

I will admit that it is entertaining that they decide to duel; while they are barbaric I feel there are plenty of instances that could be resolved over a good old fashioned duel. Specifically I’m thinking that certain peoples such as those in public office should be able to be challenged to a duel. The history of dueling is extensive, even just here in the United States, but historically they were most often used to settle certain disagreements. Most commonly it was used by gentlemen and then certain prominent citizens (such as journalists or those in public office). That is not to say there are not rules, which can be found here. One of the most interesting ones is that although we normally think of duels as using pistols, the person who is challenged can actually choose what weapons are to be used as well as where it is to be located. Just a friendly warning to anyone planning on challenging someone to a duel, tradition states you do not get to choose the details¹. Andy tells Dwight he intends on using his fists, to which Dwight mocks him because he will simply cut them off with a sword. This was what prompted Jim to begin searching the office and clearing out any leftover weapons (much like how Toby had to do in the past). Dwight still had a pretty nice collection including throwing stars and a pair of nunchucks, leaving them to use only their fists in what I assume Jim was hoping would be a quick brawl.

The time comes and Dwight is in the parking lot with the rest of us upstairs eagerly awaiting the fight from the conference room. But Andy seems to have chickened out because he was nowhere to be seen; at least until we realized there had been a note left behind. Dwight had seen it and began reading it to himself, and this was when Andy finally showed up. He came up behind him driving his Prius; Oscar explained that it can remain silent if kept under 5 mph (and that was why Oscar felt he should win). Andy snuck up behind Dwight and proceeded to run into him, just enough to pin up against a tree but not to actually hurt him. While the rest of us were eager to see how this would pan out, Jim decided he needed to intervene before anything got too serious but they were adamant it didn’t include him. I could tell the fight was starting to spiral out because Dwight and Andy were talking about nonsense topics about why they are the better man for Angela. Andy thought Dwight was crazy for wanting to “protect her from bears” when Andy doesn’t believe there has been any recent sightings. For the record, the most recent sighting that I found documented publicly was in June of 2022 which proves that they do exist nearby². Andy then called Dwight “sasquatch” which he thanked him for as they are the strongest animal on the planet. Just to factcheck, the sasquatch is considered a cryptid so it is not truly part of the animal kingdom. I feel that “strongest animal on the planet” is pretty vague but I’m pretty confident in saying that it would be the African elephant as it is the largest terrestrial animal on the planet. Alternatively, it could be the blue whale which is the largest animal on the planet but I am unsure how much “strength” has been tested by the whale. But it was when Andy revealed that Angela had slept with him, that Dwight began to lose the will to fight. Dwight said Angela told him she was only sleeping with him; I suppose then it set in to both of them they had been lied to and betrayed. They proceeded to come back to their desks where Andy began calling and cancelling all of his wedding reservations while Dwight threw away the bobblehead of himself that it appears Angela had given him. In that moment, I think we all realized that it was over for them all with no winners in this duel.

Oddly enough, while we were having a disappointing time at the office Michael was crushing it at corporate. It sounds like David had invited Michael in to ascertain what he was doing so differently in Scranton because while all of the other branches are struggling, we are thriving and boasting record sales. I am not sure Michael was really able to put into words what we were doing differently but maybe it goes to show that he isn’t totally useless as a manager. He does know sales and tends to give the salesman some big leeway when it comes to clients so perhaps the space to thrive is what sets us apart. Or we treat everyday like we are going to be closed because of something Michael does so we try to show that we are irreplaceable. Time will come if Michael can truly explain what makes him so special.

And that was the Breakdown! So let me ask you, if you are challenged to a dual by someone, what is your weapon and location that will give you the edge? In all reality, more duels were challenged than actually fought because often the terms of the duel could lead to a negotiation being made. There is a famous story where Abraham Lincoln (not yet president) was challenged to a duel. In an epic move, he decreed the weapon of choice to be broadswords. When it became clear that Lincoln’s stature and strength was going to guarantee he had the advantage, he duel was quickly brought to a close, becoming Lincoln’s duel that never was³.

If nothing else, I hope I was able to pique your interest with some cool duel facts that you are now heading out to learn more. I hope you all have a great weekend, and I’ll be sure to say hello to you around the Breakroom.

1. (n.d.). Code Duello: The Rules of Dueling. PBS. Retrieved May 29, 2025, from https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/duel-code-duello-rules-dueling/ ↩︎
2. Tomkavage, R. (2022, June 12). Watch: Bear spotted in downtown Scranton. The Times-Tribute. Retrieved May 29, 2025, from https://www.thetimes-tribune.com/2022/06/12/watch-bear-spotted-in-downtown-scranton/ ↩︎
3. Cooper, N. (2021, August 19). Lincoln’s avoided duel. Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. Retrieved May 29, 2025, from https://presidentlincoln.illinois.gov/Blog/Posts/141/Abraham-Lincoln/2021/8/Lincolns-avoided-duel/blog-post/ ↩︎