Good morning everyone, and welcome back to the Breakroom! Another week down and we are that much closer to summertime weather! This weekend is supposed to get into the 70s here in Minnesota and I am excited, especially because we are planning on hosting family members over for Mother’s Day on Sunday, and I do love a good brunch. Around the house we have been working on some spring cleaning and getting everything freshened up, especially because we hope our remodel to be done in a few weeks. And my husband, the Lanza educator, has been busy lining up all of his different trainings and shadows lined up so he can begin teaching as soon as he can. It really does remind us that in many of our careers it is possible to educate ourselves on our own time with new skills and techniques that might help us in the future. I have not personally done any training since leaving grad school, my hope was I wouldn’t need to do more learning until I have secured a new position, but lately I have been wondering if I need to look into new skills. Some good examples are analytical/technical skills such as focusing on a specific program (like Tableau), there is learning leadership skills or even public speaking. From speaking recruiters and doing my own research I feel like hard skills are the beneficial ones to pad your resume with because typically you can show off your soft skills with the recruiter interview. Anyone have good recommendations on these topics? Share in the comments!
Now lets jump to what all happened at the office this week! We actually a pretty crazy day and it all began with a batch of brownies that Phyllis brought in as a treat. I will say that while I love working from home, the one piece I miss about working in an office was the fact that I was the baked goods person. Once a week or every two weeks I would often bring in a Bundt cake, brownies, or maybe cookies to share with the office. Truth is a big part of this is I often am craving one of these but only want one piece. The solution is to make a batch, I take one and then bring in the rest for my colleagues so I do not pig out on an entire tray of brownies myself. Nearly everyone is enjoying the brownies, accept Angela who is watching her wait for her wedding dress she wants to wear, and even Michael comes in eager to grab two in order to parcel them throughout the day. This was when Kelly went ahead and grabbed two as well, to which Ryan made a comment asking if she was taking two as well. Maybe I am reading too much into this, but I immediately jumped to Ryan trying to tell Kelly that she doesn’t need to have more than one brownie. Ryan should just keep his opinion to himself, because it is none of his business if his girlfriend wants to eat more than one brownie. Are there couples out there that can poke fun at each other? Absolutely, but having worked with Ryan as long as I have I can tell you that this is him being passive aggressive and gaslighting her. So a friendly recommendation to those of you out there with significant others, do not try to criticize them or make them feel guilty for wanting to eat two brownies. That is their choice, and you should not make them feel bad about enjoying a special treat.
So Kelly does explain that one of them is meant for Toby back in the annex. Michael fiends this comment hilarious since, as he remembers it, Toby left to go to Costa Rica and no one is in bag for human resources since Holly left. Jim convinces him to go back and check just to make sure. There he runs into Toby, back to working for Dunder Mifflin, and Michael’s entire life has been turned upside down and he begins to spiral.
It then becomes Michael’s mission for the day to have Toby removed from the premise by any means necessary. He first goes right to David Wallace to get him removed, although David finds it interesting that Toby had been here for an entire week before Michael noticed he was here. And David has no intention on getting rid of him since he knows the company and the position is needed, so he will not be removed without just cause. It is there that Michael schemes to find a just cause to get rid of him. He enlists the help of his right-hand man, Dwight, to begin formulating how they can have him removed and they do so by reviewing the company manual on fireable offenses.
First, committing sexual harassment. Dwight decides that it is his duty to seduce Toby into harassing him, since a lot of men find him desirable. Michael disagrees that this would work. Besides the fact that Toby isn’t gay, there are much more suitable men in the office like Jim or Ryan who would be better bait than Dwight would be. Instead, Michael decides to send Pam in as the bait by asking her to deliver a note to Toby in which it is written that she is professing her love to him. Say what you will about Michael and his ideas, but when it comes to Toby he seems to rise to this entire other level of genius to outwit him. Of course, Michael made it a huge point to Pam to not read the note so naturally she chose to read it and chose to not have any part in this.
Next, Michael decided to next try prompting Toby to commit an act of violence. He goes back to the annex himself and starts to egg Toby on, taking his photographs and hassling him. He keeps saying “why don’t you just punch me” but seems to not appreciate it when Ryan and Kelly chime in trying to motivate Toby to do the same. In the end Toby refuses to resort to violence and Michael storms off upset and a bit worked up at this point.
Finally, we are left with the final option. If Michael cannot coerce Toby to commit one of these acts, he and Dwight are left with framing him by planting drugs on him. The plan is that Dwight will distract Toby while Michael goes in and hides a bag of drugs at this desk, and then they just need to call the cops. Additionally, at this time although there is a current bill that hopes to legalize recreational marijuana, it is still considered illegal in the state of Pennsylvania. Michael does produce a bag of marijuana, he had gone and bought it from Leo and Gino, two of the workers at Vance Refrigeration. They sold two pounds to him for $500, stating that was a good price. First, I don’t think you realize how much two pounds of marijuana is but that is far more than anyone will normally ever buy. Second, some quick internet searches estimate that a pound of marijuana could could cost between $1000 to $3000, so this actually is a great deal. At least it was, until the cops that Dwight called show up. As they search through Toby’s office, he is freaking out and is incredibly stressed out. I found this odd because not only is Toby usually so calm, an innocent person rarely would be so worried about people looking through their things. They do find the bag of marijuana, but it is revealed to be nothing more than caprese salad. It should have been pretty obvious given the basil, not to mention the very visible piece of mozzarella cheese. Chopping it up to a false tip, they leave and Toby is free to go. But I still ask, why was Toby so worried if he had nothing to hide? Maybe there was something that he didn’t want anyone to find at his desk. But for the record, if you are caught trying to frame a coworker to get them fired you could very easily get fired yourself so I would recommend you refrain from trying to do such a thing.
So what else is going on? Well, Pam is having a difficult time in the office today all because of one of the office microwaves. When she went to use it, she found that it was incredibly dirty and gross inside. She decided to bring our attention to it by posting a note asking that whomever made the mess should take responsibility and clean it up. Oddly enough, people seem to have more problem with her note than the actual mess. In their defense, Pam initially did it anonymously until she took ownership for it later. That being said, I feel Pam is completely right. An office is a shared location which means people need to take ownership of their messes, especially because the office and appliances would technically be owned by the company. As soon as someone made the mess, they should have cleaned it up so it would not fall on anyone else. This is such an office faux pas, always clean up after yourselves because your mess is your responsibility. I absolutely stand by Pam an truthfully I would have been tempted to say that if you don’t clean your mess, you lose the priviledge of having a microwave.
The last bit of news, that was actually pretty exciting, was that Jim surprised Pam with something even bigger than a proposal. He decided to buy his parent’s house for he and Pam, and took her out there after it was all said and done. He walked through some of the specifics of the house and even brought her out to the garage that he was converting into an art studio because it has great lighting (despite having no windows). Pam was evidently very speechless, but said she loved the thought of it all and was incredibly happy. While it is very sweet, I’m going to have to give a hot take that I actually would have been pretty upset. I feel that when a couple is going to be living together then they should have an equal say in the house. Perhaps there were aspects Pam would have wanted, and then it also begs the question of was Jim expecting Pam to also contribute to the mortgage? She didn’t get a say so we do not know if this house is in her price point. Having just bought our current house last year I can confirm that mortgage payments can get very expensive so how sure are we that Jim was thinking about affordability?
With that personal opinion aside, that is overall everything that happened at the office! I stand with Pam and hope that whoever made that mess feels pretty guilty with themselves. And Michael unfortunately will just have to live with Toby, but I do appreciate this odd genius that seems to come alive in him fueled by his discontent with the man. It is almost admirable how much disdain he can harbor for the man.
Have you ever held such hatred for a coworker that you would go to such lengths as framing them in order to get them fired? We would love to hear the details, if you can legally share any of details.
I hope all have amazing weather this weekend, have a Happy Mother’s Day to those who celebrate, and I’ll be sure to see you around the Breakroom.
