Good morning everyone and welcome back to the Breakroom. It is officially Friday if possible this week has both been incredibly slow, and simultaneously flying by. Essentially work has been crazy, but we are finally doing our holiday party this afternoon so that is something exciting to look forward to. In other news, our current president and his minions have been systematically breaking down DEI initiatives, stripping the rights from minorities across the board, trying to crackdown on immigrants and their children, is attempting to back away from the World Health Organization (WHO), while threatening the entire planet that we are victims because the rest of the world has not been directing enough business our way. Additionally, Elon Musk has finally show his true colors with his Nazi salute. So this is our world now, unfortunately, and much like Bishop Mariann Budde expressed to the president at her service, let us try to show mercy upon those suffering. I can guarantee that everyone knows someone affected by these changes and is truly scared of what is going to happen to them in the near future, so you might want to consider reaching out to ensure that they are okay and that they have your support. For those business owners out there, I urge you to not cave to those in power and change your company practices have so many already have. DEI practices are important and they are not there to simply give jobs to those who haven’t earned them. By rolling them back it is a step towards telling a company they can hire and fire people just because they are gay, black, or Jewish and we cannot let it get to that point.
With that being said, I think we have all earned a nice reprieve from the negative and a chance to talk about something a bit more exciting. I know many of you have been looking forward to this, and we are going to talk about the infamous “Dinner Party.” I am going to this Breakdown a bit differently in that I am going to also feature this as a segment from the Party Planning Committee. Without further adieu, let me introduce you to tonight’s posting that I have titled:
“How to throw a Dinner Party” with Jan Levinson and Michael Scott
Creating a guest list and sending out invitations
When hosting a dinner party, it is important to thinking carefully on who to invite and then how to get those invitations out. If you are planning on doing dinner at a table then you want to ensure you are inviting people where you will have enough seating and utensils to accommodate everyone. And if there are special events planned, you should make sure you have the right amount to be cohesive, such as if you are playing a game. For game nights, even numbers are often the simplest option which is why couples are such a thing. When notifying them, most often these days we use text, calls, or email to invite people over. It is best to give them as much notice as you can to ensure they are free and can be prepared. Traditional etiquette is at least 3 to 4 weeks for a formal dinner, a few days to 2 weeks for a casual dinner. While I have never done so, I have always wanted to go the extra mile with handwritten invitations that use wax seals. But that would most likely be for a thematic dinner such as for a holiday or perhaps a murder mystery meal.
In comparison, Michael decided to take a different approach. It started with us all working very late that evening because we were told corporate is mandating us stay for some silly project involving all sorts of paperwork and filing. Hearing our grumbling, Michael went into his office and began yelling into the phone, telling someone on the other end that he was not going to make us stay and they couldn’t make us work beyond our shift. This was pretty exciting news to be told that we could go, and immediately Michael asked Jim if he and Pam wanted to come over for dinner to celebrate. Without missing a beat, Michael pointed out that Jim had just said he had nothing going on and couldn’t get out of it. He also called over to Andy and Angela to invite them over as well, but had to explain to Dwight that they were only looking for couples, and they didn’t even have enough wine glasses for more people so he couldn’t come. Technically Michael’s method does work, but only if you are trying to trap people into coming to a party.
The Start of the Party
Very rarely would the beginning of the party be the meal itself so people would not be arriving to the food all done. The standard etiquette is that you answer the door to welcome them in, and if they have a host gift you graciously accept. If this is their first time to your home then you certainly offer them up a tour so you can show them around the place. I find dinner parties often line up after moving into a new place or remodeling so this is a pretty standard protocol. While each party varies, I would say that food should be ready to eat 30 minutes to 1 hour after what you consider the formal start of the party. If you say arrive by 7pm, dinner should be ready by 8pm; if later than that, it would be polite to provide an itinerary of the evening so people can plan ahead.
For this evening, Jim and Pam were the first ones to arrive (not that they were too thrilled about that) and they did bring a bottle of merlot as a gift. Upon receipt, Jan did passive aggressively respond with “This will be great to cook with.” First of all, this is a pretty big insult coming from someone because you are trying to convey the wine is not worth drinking. That being said, there are many who say that when using a wine for cooking you would still want it to be considered drinkable because cooking with wine does bestow the flavors associated. Having never been here before, they are given a full tour of the house. They reveal that Michael sleeps at the foot of the bed because Jan has space issues, they also spotted a camera in the bedroom that was on its tripod so that was certainly missed. It was also revealed that Jan has taken over two rooms for trying to start up her new candle business, “Serenity by Jan.” Before long, Angela and Andy also arrive (Andy presenting flowers as a gift) and now the party is ready to start. It is worth mentioning that all that was left for dinner per Jan was that the ossobuco needs to braise for 3 more hours. Pam was shocked by this but Jan points out that in Spain they often do not eat until midnight. That seems excessively late but having spent time in France, it is true that the dinners often start late and their biggest thing is that the meals will go on for several hours. This is because they move through several courses including appetizers, then the main meal, followed by cheeses and wine, and then a sweet of some sort. While some cultures might do this, when you are inviting people over to your house for a dinner party you need to be pretty clear when food will be served so they are not going hungry waiting around.
Pre-dinner fesitivities
There is traditionally other phases to a party besides just the dinner; these can happen before or after the meal and sometimes both. Depending on how late the dinner will be, you might start off with some hors d’oeuvres to snack on while the food cooks. Doing wine or cocktails is also fairly common, or simply some form of beverages. Other examples of activities could include music on the background, general chatting, games, or perhaps venturing around the house. The point is to keep people entertained and not bored, with just enough time spent doing this to bring you to dinner.
Jan and Michael had a good 3 hours to fill, and I believe they thought the conversation was going to be more stimulating than it actually was. The started with trying to set the atmosphere with some music. Jan had a copy of a CD cut by her old assistant, Hunter. Unfortunately she was the only one who seemed to be moved by the music and even proceeded to dance while everyone else remained seated. Personally, his lyrics sounded suspiciously like they were about him having an affair with Jan; but that is just my personal theory. With the music not doing the job, they decided to start a game of Celebrity, which I will say is actually a great party game. The concept is this: first everyone takes slips of paper and writes names of various celebrities they know of and these are all put into a bowl. Next, split up into teams (usually two of them) and then decide which team goes first. That team then selects someone to be the clue giver; they must then pull slips from the bowl and try to describe the celebrity on the slip of paper with clues until their team can guess who it is. The goal is for the clue giver to get their team to guess as many as possible in the designated period. It is important to note that there are rules to the clues you can give such as you cannot state any part of their name, nor can you do “sounds like” to get them to guess. Unfortunately, Michael doesn’t seem to understand the game at all and Jim is more concerned with pranking Michael than playing the game right. Eventually, Jim actually tries to get Pam and himself out of the party by doing a fake call that his apartment has flooded. Now, having an out to get out of a dinner party that you are worried will be bad certainly can work. Emergencies are great but unfortunately, such excuses just do not work with hosts who are relentless in their pursuits at keeping you there. It is also expected that as a host, you have a certain level of decorum and calm but it appears Jan and Michael did not get the message. Instead, they start to unravel and scream at one other over a myriad of problems they have been festering. This began with Jan thinking Michael and Pam used to date and decided to bring up how Michael recently ran through the sliding glass door when he heard an ice cream truck. To this, Michael let loose with how he had several vasectomies and reversals because Jan continued to change her mind on whether she wanted kids. It was then that they had unexpected guests show up, in the form of Dwight and his former babysitter-turned-date. When Michael told Dwight that he couldn’t come to the party because it was just for couples and they didn’t have enough food or wine glasses, Dwight thought it would bee okay to crash the party as long as he had a date, his own glasses, and his own food. While this post is about hosting a party, I will point out that unless someone specific invites you, do not crash a dinner party like that. It is incredibly rude and there was likely a reason why you were not invited to that particular party so please be gracious and simply let it go.
Dinner is served.
You have made it officially to the dinner and now food should be served. You will want to convey if it is buffet or family style, as well as ensure that dishes and utensils are all out for people. Ahead of time, I do want to point out that you should have taken into account the dietary requirements of your guests to ensure everyone has adequate food. I routinely have people who are vegetarian or gluten intolerant, so if I was having them over for dinner I want to make sure as much of the meal can be eaten by them as possible because that is the only fair thing to do. If there is going to be a dessert or cheese and fruit afterwards, you can certainly let them know so they can decide how full they want to be from dinner.
Dinner is finally ready at their party and Jan begins to bring the food out; she choose to plate the food herself rather than bring it to the table. Michael leaks to Pam that he was worried she has been putting something in his food which of course freaks Pam out. Everyone was simply uncomfortable, and Michael’s habit of dipping his meat in wine to soften it didn’t help since it just upset Jan. Not to be mean but braised meat like ossobuco would normally be incredibly tender so I am questioning if either Jan didn’t cook the food right, or Michael was doing this just to upset her. But it worked because they got into another argument which actually prompted Michael to bring out a neon beer sign which he attached to the wall, knowing it’d upset Jan. She tried to calm down listening to music but they simply continued to scream at one another, resulting in Jan throwing one of Michael’s Dundie awards straight at his plasma tv (all 12 inches of television).
Ending the evening.
There are a number of ways to close out such a party, but dessert and coffee is often a nice relaxing means of doing so. Gives you that bit of pep on the way home, plus I like to think that way you have more energy to do your own activities after the dinner party. Sometimes games might be done after dinner if you decided to cater it this way, or general chatting and catching up.
Jan and Michael never had a chance to get to coffee and dessert, unfortunately because once Jan smashed the television it was a pretty clear ending. Everyone began leaving just in time because it was then that the police showed up, having been called by the neighbors in hearing the commotion. They advised Michael to go home with someone else (in this case, Dwight) because it was best to not stay the night with Jan. Evidently they deemed he might not necessary be safe, or perhaps they assumed she may have been intoxicated or simply needed to be separated. We will need to stay tuned as to whether this is the end of Jan and Michael.
And that everyone, is your blueprint to hosting your own dinner party. Having thrown a few myself, I want to give some additional tips to keep in mind. Games are a great way to pass the time, but certainly try to think of games that are either easy to learn or can be enjoyable by all. Some games we have done include Celebrity, Super Smash Brothers, and even Mario Party. I did already convey the importance of dietary restrictions to ensure everyone can eat; I am a big fan of desserts so whether it is pastry, fruit, or cheese it is nice to have something extra after dinner. Additionally, I like to always say set your start time to a time that you are okay with people showing up 30 minutes before that time. We all have guests who like to show up incredibly early, so the key is to assuming they will show up early so they technically are there right when you are ready for them.
Have additional tips for a dinner party? Maybe some personal stories from attending horrific parties yourself? Let us know in the comments! I hope you all have a great weekend and until next week, I’ll see you around the Breakroom!
